Family & Parenthood 02 (Jan 10 - Aug 10)

[millionairemind]

After reading all this, I just conclude it's darn tough to be a good parent.

I just hope I am able to do my best.....

haha... join the club, MW.

We all try to do this parenting job to the best of our ability

Nobody really has a clue... we all try to figure it out along the way

[Musicwhiz]

Ya lor, this thread stresses me out sometimes, when I realize there's so MUCH to do for my kid. And geez she's not even 1 year old yet!

And that's on top of the bills to pay, money to grow, stuff to arrange; and life to enjoy.

[millionairemind]

Ya lor, this thread stresses me out sometimes, when I realize there's so MUCH to do for my kid. And geez she's not even 1 year old yet!

And that's on top of the bills to pay, money to grow, stuff to arrange; and life to enjoy.

haha, Y need to do much for our kids?? Just be there, really be there when they need us is good enough

When we listen, we just need to really listen to them.

The kids don't really care too much about our goals like a new 5 series BMW or the brand new spanking condo by the bay we drool about. All they need is for us to be there when they are growing up.

[Musicwhiz]

Yea, guess you are right. As a parent I want to be physically there and not work like a dog (Beatles) and come home at midnight every night to see my sleeping child (incidentally, an MLTR song title).

There is so much to enjoy in parenthood, if only we cast aside the relentless pursuit of material wealth like what you mentioned - car (BMW), Condo and whatever-else.

[millionairemind]

I was having dinner at my brother's place during our weekly get together for the whole extended family. Then the topic turned to kids and education. We were discussing that kids nowadays are no longer as motivated as the older generation because they have everything they need, Xbox, PSP, computer games to distract them.

Each kid seems to have his/her own inherent amount of internal motivation. Some kids just wake up early and study hard by themselves whereas others need to be really pushed.

Getting them to study hard seems to be an ever increasingly futile task. My older brother himself has issued an "ultimatum" to his daughter who really needs some pushing. If she does not do well enough in her O levels, she is going out to work to suffer the consequences of only having a poor education.

If you have kids, what are your views? How do you motivate your kids in areas of education?

[winston]

My older brother himself has issued an "ultimatum" to his daughter who really needs some pushing

I think we would need to go back to first principle. We need to ask the kid what she likes to do.

If she has an interest then plan with her on next steps and what courses to take.

If she does not know what is her interest then just take general courses, to see what she likes and dont likes. Thereafter, take only courses that she likes.

Many times, it's the parents who push kids to take courses that the kids have no interest.

It's not the end of the world if she does not pass her O levels. She can always work first, see what she likes and then go back to school later. But can they parent accept that ?

[iam802]

I think Winston has said it very well.

My view...
You can't motivate the kid if they do not have interests in the subjects.

But, maybe the near term goal is to beat the system.

Instead of doing well for all the 'O' level subjects...they just need to focus on the 5-6 subjects.
5 if they intend to go Poly. 6 if they want to go JC (is it still the same??)

So, focus on doing well in these subjects to move on to the next stage.

The rest will just have to wait for the kid to find their own 'true north'.

[millionairemind]

W - I think you hit the nail in the head.

I do agree with my brother's approach to let her work for a couple of years if she flunks her O levels. Maybe after being "toughened by societal requirements" she would "wake up" and go back to school. THe good thing about being a girl in Singapore is that she has a 2 yr headstart. Consider her working as serving NS

[Musicwhiz]

Ehhhh, I can't contribute as yet as my girl is barely 6 months old! But I am following this thread with much interest.

Please continue your sharing guys. This is one of my favourite threads!

[millionairemind]

Ehhhh, I can't contribute as yet as my girl is barely 6 months old! But I am following this thread with much interest.

Please continue your sharing guys. This is one of my favourite threads!

haha... good way

As my son is the youngest grandchild in the family (not that it matters now since both my parents are gone), I have had more than 15 yrs to observe my family members' different methodology of bringing up kids and how the kids subsequently turn out.

Hence I know that blind love without tough love and discipline spoils a child rotten. Boys need to be toughened out by doing alot of outdoor sports. If one does not have the discipline to control one's body, how so to control the mind??