Smile & Laugh 08 (Mar 12 - Sep 12)

[Chinaman]

Just now when i was stuck at Raffles Place MRT aro 6.30 pm...over-heard this:

MRT vs ERP?

MRT always breakdown
But ERP forever never breakdown

Next abt US President?

[kennynah]

[tonylim]

For wine lovers too...

A gentleman goes to the Lucas Carlton in Paris with his girlfriend & orders The 1928 Mouton.

The waiter returns with a bottle and he pours a Sample for tasting.

The customer places his nose in the glass taking a deep and slow sniff; he puts it down on the table with a thud.

"This is not the 1928 Mouton."

The waiter assures him it is, and soon another 20 people surround the table including the chef & the manager of the hotel, they are all trying to convince the man that the wine is the 1928 Mouton.

Finally someone asks why he is so positive that it is not the 1928 Mouton.

"My name is Phillipe de Rothschid, and I make the wine."

Finally, the original waiter steps forward and admit that he poured the Clerc Milon 1928. "I could not bear to part with our last bottle of
1928 Mouton.

Sir, you know Clerc Milon, it is in the same village as Mouton, you pick thgrapes at the same time, the same cepage, you crush in the same way, you put them into similar barrels. You bottle at the same time, you even use eggs from the same chickens to fine them. The wines are the same, except for a small matter of geographic location."

Rothschild calls the waiter forward, and whispers to him,

"When you return home tonight, ask your girlfriend to remove her underwear. Put one finger in one opening, another in the other, and smell both the fingers. Then you will understand what difference a small distance of geographic location makes.".

[Chinaman]

Subject: Singlish Minister - must see this one..

must see this one..laugh until u pang

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72BMJ3NfHlE&sns=fb

[winston]

Fun Things To Do In An Elevator:

1. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

3. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

4. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

5. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

6. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral

7. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"

8. Meow occasionally.

9. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

10. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

[winston]

Old Age

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things.

One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."

The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just waken up!"

The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood." She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?!"

[Muhajir]

loved the bush joke!! thank you brother CM

[winston]

Don't steal, the Government hates competition !

[winston]

Unusual Event

The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week.

Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in well last week."

"Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?"

"He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for help yesterday."

[winston]

Plans

A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time.

The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a ‘funeral director.’

After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director.

The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse carriers.

With a smile on her face she explained, ‘I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.’