Family & Parenthood 01 (Jun 08 - Dec 09)

Re: Family & Parenthood (Jun 08 - Dec 09)

Postby millionairemind » Tue Dec 08, 2009 3:53 pm

I just got back from Gold Coast Australia last night with the family. It was the first time that we joined a "package" tour in the last 13 years. We would usually rent a car and do the F&E thing. We did differently this time cos' we figured we were going to be at the theme park the whole day anyway and it was cheaper with all the free breakfasts and stay in a 4star hotel thrown in.

As it was a family orientated tour, I could quietly observe all the interaction that the other parents had with their children and I have come to the conclusion, SINGAPOREANS ARE MOTHERING THEIR CHILDREN TO DEATH!!!! :? :? :?

At the only group dinner on the first day of arrival, I had the misfortune of sitting with 2 other families with 3 kids between them, ranging from 7 to 10yrs old. Consider the following exchanges:

"Ma, I don't like the onions in my eggs, please remove it" and the mother obliges

"Don't touch the tea pot, its hot, the waitress just refilled it"

"Y you want to hold the teapot, its heavy, the waitress just refilled it"

"Eat your dishes with your rice"

"Don't just eat your rice"

"If you don't like the food here, mummy will buy other things for you to eat after we leave this restaurant"

"Eat your vegetables"

"Ma, can you help me peel the prawns?"

"Eat your chicken, don't forget to remove the bones"

AND ON AND ON IT GOES for the 1hr dinner!!! It almost drove me crazy!!! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

What happened to common sense????

Tell the kid once and if he is STUPID enough to touch the hot teapot, let him burn himself to learn it the hard way. That's how we train our kid.

If you don't eat what's on your plate and dinner time is over, you will starve. I will NOT BUY any other bread for you.

If you don't eat what's available, you will go to bed hungry.

If you do this or that, we are going to tell you the consequences once, and you will bear the burden and learn from your mistakes/foolishness.

Sigh.... no wonder our kids are growing up so sheltered with a lack of opinions. :roll: :roll: :roll:
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Re: Family & Parenthood (Jun 08 - Dec 09)

Postby iam802 » Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:07 pm

It just become a bit more unbearable because you are 'stuck' there having dinner with another family who do not share the same values.

Hence, I also avoid going on trips with tour group. Or for that matter, even if it is a F&E trip, I will avoid going with other friends as there will be differences of what different family wants to enjoys, choose to eat, how to eat, wants to try etc.

In short, maybe we are out of the corporate world for too long.

I have a feeling that those working in MNC will have less issues here. (stereotyping here ... with no supporting evidence)
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Re: Family & Parenthood (Jun 08 - Dec 09)

Postby kennynah » Tue Dec 08, 2009 6:08 pm

let me share with all of you a small experience we had recently on our church camp trip in KL Malaysia...

as you can imagine, the organisers had to ensure affordability so that as many can go on this trip....this meant we all travelled on coaches... these aren't those 1st class coaches complete with stewardess onboard to serve meals... they were those without video monitors, not even a screen at the front of the buses. that was how frugal it was... but this was not the problem... what happened on my bus at first seemed to be a problem...let me explain...

there was a family of 4; 2 parents and 2 children of ages 5 and 8 who were on the same coach as us...i'm guessing, they looked like imported indians (no derogatory intended here...merely just a description)... now, the parents were quiet lot..and so were the children...at first...

we had to be at gathering point at 7am that morning, which meant most of us did not have sufficient sleep from the night before...and we were all looking forward to some quiet rest on the bus as we knew it will be many hours before we finally arrived at Berjaya Times Square (yeah..i was too surprised ...thot we would all be staying in some 100RM/night rooms)..

soon after we cleared the malaysian immigration, we all settled in...and prepared to doze off for some rest....and before long, the 2 children became restless...and of no fault of theirs...all children are mostly boisterous...they went looking for their friends at the back of the bus... and started playing games...and of cos, that meant, we were all disturbed by the loud laughters and noise... their "friends" were adults in their 40s...in case, you thought they were children as well...

it lasted and lasted...and at some point, one can sense the discomfort the din brought upon the rest of the passengers...i was certainly feeling increasingly frustrated since i watched the market the night before and had a mere 30 mins shut eye before this trip...i was very tired...

so...i said to myself (not even to the wife)... i had a few options here :

a) politely tell the playful adults to lower their voices
b) go up to the indian parents, who were absolutely oblivion to their children's inconsideration, and politely request that they rein in their children
c) bear with the noise....

needless to say, you probably expected me to have opted for c) which meant to quietly accept the situation and bear with it...

you are not wrong...that was what my wife and i did and did all of the other passengers...and why i chose c) was not becos it has anything to do with religion...for i remember i had been on another coach before where a similar situation occurred and i was certain the bus was filled with gamblers from genting heading home to singapore...

so, why did i not approach the "friends" or the parents... this is why

a) children misbehave..it is no fault of theirs...they being children will never always know what is right and wrong social behaviour...
b) we all felt unhappy becos of the disturbances...and we weren't even participating in it... what of those "friends", who had to "entertain" those children... it would be unreasonable of me to imagine they were not tired...in fact, the man who played games with the children was the overall In-Charge of ALL 25 buses...how could he not be tired... yet, he showed great character to indulge the children...and never once shooed them off... what a personality! He has my full admiration....
c) and what of the indian parents? seriously, i had no immediate reason to not request them to "control" their children... to have them seated quietly.... yet, at that instant, i was reminded again of what i have always believed...that "everything happens for a reason, and always for a good reason, even when it is not apparent at that moment".... the fact that the games lasted for some 4 hours until we finally arrived at Berjaya Times Square, tested all of our patience and tolerance.... and we all succeeded quite very well....

so, the gist of this very loh soh recount is this....

for every bad situation we find ourselves in, it is up to us to respond positively or negatively to it...and that respond, will either make or break one's day.....

choose wisely my friends...and enjoy whatever that comes along...try at least...we will fail from time to time...but it should not stop us from trying to exercise more tolerance, patience and understanding...

peace !
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Re: Family & Parenthood (Jun 08 - Dec 09)

Postby millionairemind » Tue Dec 08, 2009 6:56 pm

Good recount of your experience and you showed alot of restraint and understanding towards the kids.

Kudos :D
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Re: Family & Parenthood (Jun 08 - Dec 09)

Postby winston » Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:03 pm

millionairemind wrote:Good recount of your experience and you showed alot of restraint and understanding towards the kids. Kudos :D


Yes. I'm very surprized too. The Divine does teach in very mysterious ways ;)
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Re: Family & Parenthood (Jun 08 - Dec 09)

Postby kennynah » Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:09 pm

eh...wah liao .... like i'm always intolerant towards children like dat.....truth is that i am less tolerant towards adults...but hahahaha....Amen :!: 8-)
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Re: Family & Parenthood 1 (Jun 08 - Dec 09)

Postby millionairemind » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:41 am

The boy has been a fan of the game Animal Kaiser at TimeZone.

It's just a silly game of animals battling each other and at the end of the game, you get a collector's card. If you have a boy (95% of players are boys) and you have been to TimeZone, you will know what I am talking about.

We let our boy play it only once a week, provided he gets his Chinese Dictation and English Spelling all correct. One wrong and he waits for next week. We tot it was a great way to train his ability to delay gratification, which we firmly believe, is the discipline one needs for success in future adult life. If we go there and there is a long Q, we will go for lunch and then try again. If the Q is still long, some other day.

The Mrs. dislikes the game immensely. She said that everytime she visits TimeZone, she gets turned off by the Qs of parents/kids there as it does not teach the kids the correct values. The reasons being as follows:

1. The parents would sit there with the kid and watch him play. However, if you have to wait your turn, they will not give up their seats, even though they have been there an hour already. One game lasts only 2mins. Unfortunately, we feel that the parents are setting a bad example on how NOT TO EXHIBIT consideration for your fellow players. Its me, me and my game, who cares if you are behind me standing for an hour.

2. We have seen grandkids brawling their eyes/heart out and refused to leave the place and the grandparents could do nothing about it.

3. We have seen parents play the game for an hour at a time, all because they wanted to "collect the cards for their kids" as they were having exams and must study at home. They promised the kids that they "will play and collect on their behalf".

4. Just last Friday, I saw the ultimate. One family, after playing for an hour (we left and came back) had the mum bring instant noodles to serve the kid lunch while other kids were waiting for them to finish the game!!!!! What the hell is going on????

5. Parents will give their kids a Timezone card that allows them to play for an hour, that's $50!!!! What happened to thrift and teaching them the value of money???

We felt that there is something not quite right with these behaviors but unfortunately, I think we are in the minority. Or perhaps we are wrong not to join them :? :D

If the family unit is a microscopic view of our society at large, I worry for Singapore.

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Re: Family & Parenthood 1 (Jun 08 - Dec 09)

Postby Musicwhiz » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:54 am

Hi MM,

Well I have a girl so hopefully she won't be so "addicted" to such games. But from what you have described, I think you are indeed teaching the right values and yes, you are the minority. This is akin to drivers showing signals (indicator) before turning - I've seen just 1-2 drivers i 10 (about 10-20%) of drivers doing this. So it goes to show that inconsiderate behaviour permeates all aspects of Singaporean lifestyle; not just at the arcade centre but also on the roads and probably in malls etc as well.

I think parents are just spoiling their children more and more, from what you describe. PLaying the game for their kids? It's really taking it to the limit. And yes I feel parents mollycoddle their kid way too much; and this is the so-called Generation Z we are talking about. Generation Y are already pretty spoiled as I see it; but the latest generation will probably re-write the record books again. Sigh.

Parents are rich, which is why blowing $50 on games for 1 hour probably means nothing to them.

As for delayed gratification, the parents themselves don't practice it. How to teach their kids??? :lol:
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Re: Family & Parenthood 1 (Jun 08 - Dec 09)

Postby iam802 » Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:55 am

It is cheaper to let kids play games on FB, get a DS, a WII etc...than go Timezone.

Kids do easily gets attracted to such games (be it girls or boys). So, it is up to the parents to setup the appropriate guidelines and ENFORCE it!

So, MM and MW are both right. The parents need to set the right example.

My personal experience is, "What should be considered 'fair' with regards to the use of computer and the NET?"
1. Always wait for the setup. NO SETUP; NO TRADE

2. The trend will END but I don't know WHEN.

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