Boredom Strikes! 04 (Sep 10 - Jun 11)

[iam802]

...

Dr William Wan, general manager of the Singapore Kindness Movement Secretariat, wrote in to my paper, urging Singaporeans to 'improve the level of graciousness on public transport'.

...

errrr ...is he is stereotyping. I am being defensive here.

[Poles]

Tales From the Istana - Part I.

At the back of the Istana's guard house, 11 pm, temperature of 23 degrees centigrade, slight breeze, with the smell of Mt Faber Nasi Lemak wafting through the air.

Prata Man: Evening Boss, nice night for a good drag of "Beedi". Heaven man, Heavan!

Old Man: Spare me one bro. Bad fucking day. Starhub signal keeps dropping out. I just don't know why we pay them good money for.

Prata Man: You mean, you actually pay cable bill? Serious!

Old Man: Aiyah, just figure of speech lah.

Prata Man: Tell your daughter-in-law, its her company what.

Old Man: I already fed up with my son and now his wife. Where does it stop?

Prata Man: I knew it. Just can't have a good drag under the stars, with nice Teh Gayong without you coming out with state problems again. Whats now?

Old Man: Well, he f**k** up the succession plan, didn't he? Fucking 49 years the PAP has been in power and for the first time he tells the country that they are in trouble in finding a leader. I should not have listened to Choo and left him by himself.

Prata Man: I don't get it. You guys spend half your time looking for top talents with so many people involved. I can't see how we can slip up. Are his standards high?

Old Man: Bro, its not the standards. Its the other traditional pre-requisites. At first we thought it was the usual reluctance to be involved in politics. Its not the pay either, as we fixed that up. Its something we never expected.

Prata Man: What Boss? They are gay?

Old Man: Bro, you are really behind time. Gays are perfectly acceptable just don't tell the Ah Pek generation. Its their families.

Prata Man: What about their families?

Old Man: Every potential candidate has a son or a daughter that has migrated, working overseas and unlikely to return or in some cases kids and the mum are permanently based overseas while the guy is working here. They are leaving Singapore. And leaving for good!

Prata Man: Holy shit! Jesus, when did this all happened?

Old Man: Last 5 years. People are leaving by the droves.

Prata Man: But we made sure we look after the Elites by designating good class bungalows, high salaries, etc

Old Man: Its not them, its their kids. Its something I suspected for sometime during our annual cabinet family members gathering at Sri Temasek Poolside. I see less of the kids. As is customary, its a must for all family members to attend. They give me bullshit excuses like the kid has toothache, sprained ankle, music exam practice, etc. I suspect that they are overseas.

Prata Man: No wonder Loong talked about those kids going overseas. Boss, you want me to activate my old intelligence contacts to look for them.

Old Man: Don't be fucking stupid. We can't even find Mas Selmat. Even more embarrassing is the Ahmad Mattar affair which the whole world knew. You want to do what?

Prata Man: Maybe the search was not thorough.

Old Man: Believe me we were thorough. I even called up Chee, Low and Chiam and asked them about their recruitment drives since we are in the same business. They too have the same problem. Chee told me the young people are not interested in Singapore politics. They are more interested in social activism like human rights, fighting for the poor, 3rd world. He told me those that can afford it, pay to join Greenpeace ship to fight whalers or attend G7 demonstration, etc. Some even go Hong Kong to attend demonstrations. Those who can't afford gather outside the Parliament House and purposely get themselves arrested in order to enjoy free food and lodging in our world class prisons.

Prata Man: What did Low tell you? He managed to get some Chiobus for the last General Elections. I am sure there will be more.

Old Man: Alamak, Low got even bigger problems! Its seem they never heard of WP. They thought that after Francis and Tang left, the party closed down. He even said that Hougang residents thought their town council was run by Chiam as he is always talking about town council matters.

Prata Man: Chalat!. Like that how?

Old Man: Bro, there is something that came to me as I was walking here. Please keep it to yourself for the moment. I am seriously thinking about migrating to Perth. What do you think?

Prata Man: (Cough, Cough, Cough ... almost choked) What!.

Old Man: Its not like the Singapore we know. There are just too many foreigners. This place is getting too crowded. I fought with Cabinet and told them that 5 million is the limit. They insisted on 7 million. Now I find out these ass**** have no problem because their kids are emigrating and they will end up leaving the country eventually. Now you should know why those ass**** kept pestering you and me to endorse their salary raise and we had to bullshit in Parliament in order to defend their indefensible craps for justifications.

Prata Man: Boss, I am absolutely devastated. First, I sucked up to the British. Then, I sucked up to the Japanese. Then I'd to suck up to you. Now you want me to suck up to an Aussie? When will this stop?

Old Man: Come, lets go down to Prince Philip Avenue and talk about how to apply for emigration while we wallop Mt Faber Nasi Lemak. The smell from the guardhouse is getting to me.

Prata Man: You got money first or not? This time I am not paying until you pay me back $14 for the Ikan bakar and kambing soup at Bedok Corner last week.

Old Man: Don't worry bro, this time I brought my wallet. I thought it will be a long night. After Supper, we walked down Tanglin Road, reach Australian Embassy and talk cock until morning opening. I heard application form is $12. Then pop over to Glen Eagles, do medical checkup for emigration, late brunch, then head home.

Prata Man: You are the Man!

[Poles]

Tales From The Istana - Part 2.

Behind the Istana guardhouse, 10.30 pm, temperature 24 degrees Celsius, strong winds buffeting the palm fronds and a few crickets were chirping.

Old Man : Bro, heard from your Mrs that you going on holiday by yourself.

Prata Man: Oh, oh ..... yeah, just trying to fight my inner demons by doing something decent so as to sleep at night.

Old Man: You are not heading to Oz without telling me, are you?

Prata Man: You probably won't believe this but I have decided to do something before its too late. I am trying to stop the Olympic Torch relay. I did nothing in Singapore when you ruled Singapore with an iron fist. I did nothing when you covered Burma from the 1st world when the Burmese needed us to throw their tyrants out. This is my last opportunity to be part of history.

Old Man: Bro, you are becoming mellow with age. Don't you get it, some of us are more equal than others. It's in the nature of things. It can't be helped.

Prata Man: Here, take a Beedi. You will need it as I have decided to have a rational argument with you, even if it kills me.

Old Man: Don't go soft on me, bro. We have had a long history from the days of the Japanese Occupation.

Prata Man: Listen! And listen good, Old Man. Its time that someone tell you that you are missing your clothes. You fucking stupid or what? That JI guy escaped and how the hell is it that it is the fault of Singaporeans. Patrick Daniel needs to be given 12 strokes of the cane for carrying that rubbish.

Old Man: Whoa, Bro, take it easy .....

Prata Man: Don't fucking stop me. I am speaking here. Lets face it. That son of yours can't carry the can. You either cut him loose or the whole family gets buried together with your legacy. I've got to say that guy goes missing every time there is an issue.

Old Man: Ok, ok, I am listening. Lets get it out and thrash this tonite.

Prata Man: Am I to believe that there is no one who can lead the nation? What exactly is your son well known for? What are his achievements? What bridge did he build? What mark did he leave behind? If I draw a line in the sand now, his claim to fame would be zilch, except for his link to you and returning a small portion of taxpayers' money back to the taxpayers. Thats about it. And you are telling me that there is no one who can lead? Singaporeans hear you speak up more than him. How to be a real leader like that?

Old Man: Ok, we have issues. We can't just let this come out in the open. Its about confidence in the Government. Have you forgotten that the Stock Market dived when Loong's cancer was announced?

Prata Man: Guess what? It might just shoot up, if you dropped him now!

Old Man: Look bro, I know you are mad. But ... but we got to be rational about this. We need good man and we need them now!

Prata Man: Well, who screwed it up big time in the first place? Your sledgehammer approach to opposition politics has killed political awareness. Your approach to limiting leaders to perfect As scholars has ruled a whole swathe of society with a tiny eligible pool to fish from. Now that pool has been hit by a drought with water levels standing at 3/4 full, due to brain drain. The remaining talent will of course be of a lower quality than the ones who emigrated. Maybe you want to call Patrick Daniel again and tell him that Singaporeans are to blame for this as well?

Old Man: What do you suggest I do?

Prata Man: For a start, build a gas chamber and put all those in the States Times in it. Give your son 90 days to pull up his socks, failing which he is out. How do you think the private sector works? We gave them private sector pay, why can't we fire them like private sector does?

Old Man: Hello, smartly over-sized pants! Then who is going to take over?

Prata Man: You gave speeches saying how Kim San had an eye for leaders. How the whole process of selection works for so many years. The Pyramid Club and what nots. Well, aren't the guys who are in the current Cabinet from that exact same process? Kim San did not do the last Elections but none of them in that cohort are in the Cabinet at the moment. So what went wrong?

Old Man: Look bro, they may have been great prospects but the fire sort of died down for some.

Prata Man: Of course, the fire will die down. There is nothing to look forward to. Their salaries are the highest in the world. There is no incentives left for them to work harder. You are still pulling the ropes, so the non-financial rewards will not go their way.

Old Man: Hey, bro, where do you get all these ideas from? Its not like you, man.

Prata Man: Just go to Sammyboy. It's all there. One of them suggested a complete overhaul for opposition parties and I think the same should apply here. You got nothing to lose.

Old Man: I thought so too. Hey, is it true that QXP is Bin? On the day it came out, Choo cycled all the way to NLB to confront him. In her wheelchair of course.

Prata Man: Don't anyhow say unless you have irrefutable proof. That Scroobal fellow is a fraud, a conman and good for nothing degenerate prostitute of the highest order. Don't ever listen to him.

Old Man: Bro, I am careful of Sammyboy. They are worst than me. They ban you without telling anything. At least I am man in enough to bankrupt people in court personally. Anyway I stopped pasting photos at Sammyboy because of the current oppressive culture.

Prata Man: You are not post-news, are you? He's missing for a while. And didn't your YPAP Forum doing the same thing - suka suka ban people without warning?

Old Man: No comments.

Prata Man: What kind of political tactic is that? Bankrupting political opponents? Might as well stuff the ballot boxes. Never seen anything like this anywhere in the world. Go to The Online Citizen and read for yourself what a stir you have caused throughout the cyberspace.

Old Man: Ok, Ok. I will talk to my son. Don't have too high hopes. There are 2 women behind the scene who can crush our balls hard and proper.

Prata Man: Ahhh! That reminds me, why got no woman in the Cabinet.

Old man: Oh f**k, bro ... give me a break man. All I wanted was a bit of peace tonight, a Beedi and a stiff teh tarik.

Prata Man: I am tired too. It's like talking to a water buffalo.

Old Man: Bro, there is still time. We can catch the last No. 14 outside Plaza Singapura and go to Lorong 29 for the Hokkein Mee.

Prata Man: Old man, No 14, goes to Katong, my home town, not to Geylang.

Old Man: Eh, blur sotong, the reason why I run the country and you are only a ceremonial head is because I know where everything is. The terror who ran the Lorong 29 Hokkein Mee stall has gone to heaven and his business has been divided between his 2 sons. The drier version is now at East Coast Road, near tje Telok Kurau junction. Caprice or something? Some more no need to eat with the chillies.

Prata Man: Ok, if we go Dutch I'll go with you. I need a stiff drink after venting my spleen also.

Old Man: After the meal, we can walk to the Old Joo Chiat Police Station. There is a couple of pubs there and I heard it's happening.

Prata Man: Boss, you're into Pinoy?

Old Man: Baduah, I am talking about Old Joo Chiat Police Station. Remember, we went to wallop Samy's masala chicken with our mate Othman some time ago? The Pinoys are at Paramount lah.

Prata Man: Boss, no harm chatting with Pinoys mah. Just buy them drinks and maybe they can solve some of your problems? They are also Foreign Talents, you know?

Old Man: Hey, bro, I think your wife was right. She told Choo that during weekends at your Ceylon Road home, you claim to go for long walks after midnight. She thinks you're doing the Viet chicks instead.

Prata Man: No comments. Lets go before we miss the bus.

[iam802]

so funny. any part 3 ?

[iam802]

From FB:


Which maid to choose?

I need your urgent advice about employing a maid. As a busy mother, I need someone reliable to help out at home.

My maid is from Profits Agency Pte (PAP) and she has worked for me for a long time. Her mother worked for my parents and did an excellent job, so I had faith in her. For several years her performance has been very good, but recently she has become arrogant and insensitive, and is making lots of mistakes.

For example:
1) She flooded my kitchen – she told me that the drain pipe has blocked (she was supposed to clear it once a month but didn’t). Then she assured me that it is very rare and won’t happen again in the near future. Guess what? It flooded again within a year!
2) She didn’t close a window and my terrier dog escaped. I was so worried cos he is dangerous and could bite lots of people. After the incident, she didn’t apologise and just shrugged her shoulders saying “What to do, it has happened.” Fortunately my neighbor found the dog and we locked it up again.
3) Without consulting me, she has been bringing in strangers for my house's maintenance work. She says they charge low wages and keep costs down, but they eat my food, make a lot of noise and rest on my bed. I think they even tried to seduce my husband. It stopped feeling like my home, more like a cheap hotel, and I don’t always want to come back at the end of the day.
4) When she first came to work for me, I instructed her to clean the different parts of the house at least once a week. But for some time she has stopped taking care of the bedrooms of PP and H; they are now dirty and messy. I asked why and she told me that the kids had been disobedient, so she was neglecting their bedrooms as a punishment (she has forgotten that she is paid to clean all the rooms).

Even though my maid has worked for me for many years and I value what she has done in the past, I think she is now getting complacent. Her attitude is imperious and dismissive. She ignores my comments and basically treats my feedback as "noise". I wrote to the agency about her behavior; they assured me that they are the best agency around and all their maids are “Commited to Serve” – but I think it is just rhetoric and I don’t see that in her actions. Her salary is much higher than maids in other countries, but the agency say this is to keep her honest and stop her moving to another employer. They say there is a limited supply of maids, and Singapore isn’t big enough for more than one good maid agency, so I should not trust their competitors.

I have to decide whether to renew my maid’s 5-year employment contract. When we discussed this she said that she is now part of a team, and if I want her I must also accept her friends doing part-time work for me. One friend is very inexperienced, can't do basic tasks or explain what she intends to do. I suspect that she is actually underage. When interviewed, she only seemed interested in her days-off and visiting Universal Studios. When she couldn't answer my questions she stomped her foot and exclaimed, "I don't know what to say!" But I am still expected to pay her a high salary.

Now there happen to be a few other maid agencies - Workhard Pte (WP), New Solutions Pte (NSP), Super Personnel Pte (SPP) and Star Domestica Pte (SDP) - that offered me some helpers who seem sincere, genuine and intelligent. They are keen to work, willing to assist me and have a good attitude. I know that they may take a bit of time to learn how everything works, but frankly I am inclined to give them a chance.

People say that the devil you know is better than one you don’t. But I feel that I can’t tahan my current maid anymore. Do you think I should sack my current maid and try out a new one? Appreciate your advice.

[iam802]

So, we have a certain MP 'attacking' a candidate's sexual preferences etc.

Now, this reminds me of this show...





The most memorable part is towards the end, when Michael Douglas sick of all the mud slinging and attacks on character etc, tells his opponent, to challenge his policies.

And this is where we are lacking. The ruling party is not helping, the party whip is not helping, and there are MPs inside the Parliament and they aren't helping.

If this MP-Minister can't even discuss about the policies coherently, I doubt he can do a good job in the Parliament.

[kennynah]

802 :
hahaha....very good that maid agency satire....

So, we have a certain MP 'attacking' a candidate's sexual preferences etc

by now, we should all realize that pap using below the belt tactic of smearing opposition candidates, has now outlived its usefulness... most of us, should have seen through pap's inability to articulate coherently what they can do for Singapore...except for the rhetorical regurgitation of party lines...these, we no longer believe are beneficial for Singapore nor Singaporeans.

time to remove pap from power...

no more LEEway for pap

[iam802]

LHL says chilies and onions can prevent rain.

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During Singapore's Formula One (F1) Grand Prix, "Clown" Prince Lee Hsien Loong prevented the rain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4_P6q6CfsQ

[iam802]

LHL says chilies and onions can prevent rain.

---
During Singapore's Formula One (F1) Grand Prix, "Clown" Prince Lee Hsien Loong prevented the rain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4_P6q6CfsQ

A friend just highlighted that 'chillies, onions' are a common belief with event organizers.

But, I am not sure if this belief is just a local belief....or more International.

[winston]

Stupid or what ?

Deutsche Bank official charged with carrying pistol in Hong Kong
May 28, 2011, 2:11 GMT

Hong Kong - A senior Deutsche Bank official was arrested and charged with being in possession of a pistol at Hong Kong International Airport, a newspaper reported Saturday.

Yan Shen, 43, head of the bank's North Asia institutional client group, was arrested May 18 as he was about to fly out of Hong Kong, the South China Morning Post said.

The pistol was allegedly found when he was screened in the departure immigration hall. Yan did not hold a licence for the gun, according to court documents quoted by the newspaper.

Yan was charge with possession of a firearm without a licence and has been released on bail, the Post said. The offence carries a maximum penalty of 14 years in jail on conviction.

A spokeswoman for Deutsche Bank told the newspaper that Yan was on administrative leave. She declined to say where he was flying or if he was on a business trip when he was arrested.

http://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/ ... -Hong-Kong