by Poles » Sun Apr 24, 2011 2:51 pm
Tales From The Istana - Part 2.
Behind the Istana guardhouse, 10.30 pm, temperature 24 degrees Celsius, strong winds buffeting the palm fronds and a few crickets were chirping.
Old Man : Bro, heard from your Mrs that you going on holiday by yourself.
Prata Man: Oh, oh ..... yeah, just trying to fight my inner demons by doing something decent so as to sleep at night.
Old Man: You are not heading to Oz without telling me, are you?
Prata Man: You probably won't believe this but I have decided to do something before its too late. I am trying to stop the Olympic Torch relay. I did nothing in Singapore when you ruled Singapore with an iron fist. I did nothing when you covered Burma from the 1st world when the Burmese needed us to throw their tyrants out. This is my last opportunity to be part of history.
Old Man: Bro, you are becoming mellow with age. Don't you get it, some of us are more equal than others. It's in the nature of things. It can't be helped.
Prata Man: Here, take a Beedi. You will need it as I have decided to have a rational argument with you, even if it kills me.
Old Man: Don't go soft on me, bro. We have had a long history from the days of the Japanese Occupation.
Prata Man: Listen! And listen good, Old Man. Its time that someone tell you that you are missing your clothes. You fucking stupid or what? That JI guy escaped and how the hell is it that it is the fault of Singaporeans. Patrick Daniel needs to be given 12 strokes of the cane for carrying that rubbish.
Old Man: Whoa, Bro, take it easy .....
Prata Man: Don't fucking stop me. I am speaking here. Lets face it. That son of yours can't carry the can. You either cut him loose or the whole family gets buried together with your legacy. I've got to say that guy goes missing every time there is an issue.
Old Man: Ok, ok, I am listening. Lets get it out and thrash this tonite.
Prata Man: Am I to believe that there is no one who can lead the nation? What exactly is your son well known for? What are his achievements? What bridge did he build? What mark did he leave behind? If I draw a line in the sand now, his claim to fame would be zilch, except for his link to you and returning a small portion of taxpayers' money back to the taxpayers. Thats about it. And you are telling me that there is no one who can lead? Singaporeans hear you speak up more than him. How to be a real leader like that?
Old Man: Ok, we have issues. We can't just let this come out in the open. Its about confidence in the Government. Have you forgotten that the Stock Market dived when Loong's cancer was announced?
Prata Man: Guess what? It might just shoot up, if you dropped him now!
Old Man: Look bro, I know you are mad. But ... but we got to be rational about this. We need good man and we need them now!
Prata Man: Well, who screwed it up big time in the first place? Your sledgehammer approach to opposition politics has killed political awareness. Your approach to limiting leaders to perfect As scholars has ruled a whole swathe of society with a tiny eligible pool to fish from. Now that pool has been hit by a drought with water levels standing at 3/4 full, due to brain drain. The remaining talent will of course be of a lower quality than the ones who emigrated. Maybe you want to call Patrick Daniel again and tell him that Singaporeans are to blame for this as well?
Old Man: What do you suggest I do?
Prata Man: For a start, build a gas chamber and put all those in the States Times in it. Give your son 90 days to pull up his socks, failing which he is out. How do you think the private sector works? We gave them private sector pay, why can't we fire them like private sector does?
Old Man: Hello, smartly over-sized pants! Then who is going to take over?
Prata Man: You gave speeches saying how Kim San had an eye for leaders. How the whole process of selection works for so many years. The Pyramid Club and what nots. Well, aren't the guys who are in the current Cabinet from that exact same process? Kim San did not do the last Elections but none of them in that cohort are in the Cabinet at the moment. So what went wrong?
Old Man: Look bro, they may have been great prospects but the fire sort of died down for some.
Prata Man: Of course, the fire will die down. There is nothing to look forward to. Their salaries are the highest in the world. There is no incentives left for them to work harder. You are still pulling the ropes, so the non-financial rewards will not go their way.
Old Man: Hey, bro, where do you get all these ideas from? Its not like you, man.
Prata Man: Just go to Sammyboy. It's all there. One of them suggested a complete overhaul for opposition parties and I think the same should apply here. You got nothing to lose.
Old Man: I thought so too. Hey, is it true that QXP is Bin? On the day it came out, Choo cycled all the way to NLB to confront him. In her wheelchair of course.
Prata Man: Don't anyhow say unless you have irrefutable proof. That Scroobal fellow is a fraud, a conman and good for nothing degenerate prostitute of the highest order. Don't ever listen to him.
Old Man: Bro, I am careful of Sammyboy. They are worst than me. They ban you without telling anything. At least I am man in enough to bankrupt people in court personally. Anyway I stopped pasting photos at Sammyboy because of the current oppressive culture.
Prata Man: You are not post-news, are you? He's missing for a while. And didn't your YPAP Forum doing the same thing - suka suka ban people without warning?
Old Man: No comments.
Prata Man: What kind of political tactic is that? Bankrupting political opponents? Might as well stuff the ballot boxes. Never seen anything like this anywhere in the world. Go to The Online Citizen and read for yourself what a stir you have caused throughout the cyberspace.
Old Man: Ok, Ok. I will talk to my son. Don't have too high hopes. There are 2 women behind the scene who can crush our balls hard and proper.
Prata Man: Ahhh! That reminds me, why got no woman in the Cabinet.
Old man: Oh f**k, bro ... give me a break man. All I wanted was a bit of peace tonight, a Beedi and a stiff teh tarik.
Prata Man: I am tired too. It's like talking to a water buffalo.
Old Man: Bro, there is still time. We can catch the last No. 14 outside Plaza Singapura and go to Lorong 29 for the Hokkein Mee.
Prata Man: Old man, No 14, goes to Katong, my home town, not to Geylang.
Old Man: Eh, blur sotong, the reason why I run the country and you are only a ceremonial head is because I know where everything is. The terror who ran the Lorong 29 Hokkein Mee stall has gone to heaven and his business has been divided between his 2 sons. The drier version is now at East Coast Road, near tje Telok Kurau junction. Caprice or something? Some more no need to eat with the chillies.
Prata Man: Ok, if we go Dutch I'll go with you. I need a stiff drink after venting my spleen also.
Old Man: After the meal, we can walk to the Old Joo Chiat Police Station. There is a couple of pubs there and I heard it's happening.
Prata Man: Boss, you're into Pinoy?
Old Man: Baduah, I am talking about Old Joo Chiat Police Station. Remember, we went to wallop Samy's masala chicken with our mate Othman some time ago? The Pinoys are at Paramount lah.
Prata Man: Boss, no harm chatting with Pinoys mah. Just buy them drinks and maybe they can solve some of your problems? They are also Foreign Talents, you know?
Old Man: Hey, bro, I think your wife was right. She told Choo that during weekends at your Ceylon Road home, you claim to go for long walks after midnight. She thinks you're doing the Viet chicks instead.
Prata Man: No comments. Lets go before we miss the bus.