Family & Parenthood 02 (Jan 10 - Aug 10)

Re: Family & Parenthood 2 (Jan 10 - Apr 10)

Postby iam802 » Mon Apr 05, 2010 5:28 pm

Thanks MM.

This is an interesting article. I assume that it is reported in the Straits Times (given that the 'ageing' forum is held in Singapore).

As it is now, there are already allocated blocks of HDB flats for the senior citizens. I know there is one or two blocks in Jurong East.

Rather, than isolated communities, these flats co-exists within the current towns with medical facilities very them.

I wonder, is there a larger message behind the scene when such things are reported. Or, perhaps, I am thinking too much.
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Re: Family & Parenthood 2 (Jan 10 - Apr 10)

Postby kennynah » Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:29 pm

i am one that believe in self sustenance .. to have to depend on children during our old age is a burden we place on them... they too will have their own families and challenges... if they should choose to care for the elderly parents, well and fine...but the reality is that it is not an easy task... those who have the experiences of looking after frail and ill parents will know the sometimes enormous strain on interrelationships of the extended family, emotions and finance.

some people say.... there are very few things in life one does not get to choose... one doesn't get to choose one's parents is one of them... however, parents chose to birth the child... in this regard, it is a moral obligation to care for the children.... of cos, in return, it is equally a moral duty to care for parents as well....in especially when they no longer can care for themselves... that we do not get to choose them as parents is no excuse to disregard them....

but eventually, there should always not be the question of whether one should or not care for our parents, simply becos, we are them and they are us.... through our veins run the same blood.... to forsake them is to forsake ourselves... to discard them is to discard our very souls....so, we must not....

even more, we should love our parents as we love ourselves, for without them, there would not be our existences.... and our younglings.....

so, there should not be the question of caring for them in good times and especially bad...failing to do so, is not just a matter of unfilial piety, it is inhumane....
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Re: Family & Parenthood 2 (Jan 10 - Apr 10)

Postby winston » Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:37 pm

Different people have different values.
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Re: Family & Parenthood 2 (Jan 10 - Apr 10)

Postby kennynah » Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:39 pm

values of humanity is always universal...
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Re: Family & Parenthood 2 (Jan 10 - Apr 10)

Postby winston » Sat Apr 10, 2010 8:51 am

How Your World Will At Last Be Built by Alexander Green

In just a few weeks, millions of young men and women will graduate from high school or college.

As a friend or family member, you may be wondering what to give this year. Fortunately, I know just the gift your graduate wants.

Cash. (Yes, the same thing he or she wanted last year.)

However, it never hurts to throw in a lagniappe, something small but meaningful. Ideally, a graduation gift should encourage the graduate's dreams, with one eye on the past and the other on the future.

That's why I like to tuck the envelope inside a copy of James Allen's timeless classic, As a Man Thinketh.

Born in Britain in 1864, Allen was a slight boy who suffered from poor health. In 1879, his father - out of work and facing insolvency - sailed to America, hoping to set up home and send for his family. Soon after arriving, however, he was robbed and murdered.

At age 15, Allen was forced to work as a factory knitter and later as a private secretary to support his family. He found the work mindless and unfulfilling but took solace in the evening among his books, often reading the Bible, Shakespeare, Tolstoy and Whitman into the early hours.

In 1903, he decided to devote himself fulltime to writing and that same year published his best-known book, As a Man Thinketh.

It's a slim volume, one that can be read in less time than it takes to snooze through the average commencement address. But it packs a powerful wallop.

The essential premise is that, even if you're unaware of it, your underlying beliefs shape your character, your health, your circumstances, and, ultimately, your destiny. Your thoughts create your reality. You literally are what you think.

For this reason, you should be at least as meticulous about the ideas you feed your mind as the food you feed your body, since your life will largely become what your thoughts make it.

This is not to say that your mind alone can heal a serious illness, fix your finances, or change the world. Allen was no purveyor of New Age mumbo-jumbo. He was, above all else, a pragmatist and an advocate of hard work and effort. Yet he understood that every great undertaking begins with a particular state of mind.

Or, as he put it:

* Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.

* Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life. Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance.

* All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts … a man can only rise, conquer and achieve by lifting his thoughts. He can only remain weak, abject and miserable by refusing to lift up his thoughts.

* As the plant springs from, and could not be without, the seed, so every act of man springs from the hidden seeds of thought, and could not have appeared without them.

* A man's mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will bring forth.

* Whatever your present environment may be, you will fall, remain or rise with your thoughts, your Vision, your Ideal. You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration.

Allen insists that circumstances don't make you. They reveal you. And while you can't always command the situation, you can always command yourself.

Allen was hardly the first to recognize this. More than 2,300 years old, The Dhammapada begins with these words:

Mind is the forerunner of all actions.
All deeds are led by mind, created by mind.
If one speaks or acts with a corrupt mind,
suffering follows,
As the wheel follows the hoof of an ox pulling a cart.

Mind is the forerunner of all actions.
All deeds are led by mind, created by mind.
If one speaks or acts with a serene mind,
happiness follows,
As surely as one's shadow.

Sadly, Allen - frail throughout his life - died of consumption at 47. His nineteen books have sold millions of copies - all of them are still in print - but most were published posthumously. Allen was never a wealthy man, at least in the traditional sense.

Yet he believed deeply in his mission. His words have inspired men and women the world over. And he was an enormous influence on followers like Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill and Norman Vincent Peale.

More than anything else, As a Man Thinketh is a meditation. But it is also a revelation. Allen demonstrates how your life is enhanced and ultimately perfected by inward development.

It's a fine message for graduates just setting out to tackle the world - and not a bad reminder for the rest of us, either.

Others have preached a similar message, of course. But few have put it in more poetic language:

He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. Columbus cherished a vision of another world, and he discovered it. Copernicus fostered the vision of a multiplicity of worlds and a wider universe, and he revealed it; Buddha beheld the vision of a spiritual world of stainless beauty and perfect peace, and he entered it.

Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built.


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Re: Family & Parenthood 2 (Jan 10 - Apr 10)

Postby millionairemind » Sun Apr 11, 2010 7:42 pm

Research has repeatedly shown that if the family has dinner more often together (more than twice a week), the chances of youth drug abuse drop by more than half.

Apr 11, 2010
Youths abusing drugs
Higher spending power, travel and rise of Internet see more indulging in drugs

By Shuli Sudderuddin and Kueh Xiu Qing

Lesley, 19, goes clubbing one or two nights a week while waiting to enter university. Sometimes, when she feels that her energy level is low, she takes a bit of ketamine for an instant pick-me-up.

'I pay about $50 for 1g of K. It's not that cheap but I only do it sometimes,' she said.

Ketamine is an animal tranquilliser which causes a high in humans when taken and can lead to side effects like the inability to move, distorted judgment, confusion and hallucination. Recreational use of the drug is banned.

Lesley, who did her A levels in a reputable junior college, is among a small - but some say growing - group of youths under 25 who use drugs for recreational purposes.

These 'party' drugs are so called because they are taken mostly by party-goers who want to enhance their clubbing experience.

Some, such as mephedrone, are not banned here but can cause nose bleeds, vomiting, blood circulation problems and fits when abused.

Read the full story in The Sunday Times.
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Re: Family & Parenthood 2 (Jan 10 - Jun 10)

Postby winston » Sun May 09, 2010 5:16 pm

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Re: Family & Parenthood 2 (Jan 10 - Jun 10)

Postby kennynah » Sun May 09, 2010 8:56 pm

Be Kind
To Your
Children -
They Didn't
Have A Choice
To Be
Your Offspring


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Re: Family & Parenthood 2 (Jan 10 - Jun 10)

Postby millionairemind » Wed May 12, 2010 9:50 am

The full interview is in the papers..

May 12, 2010
THE ST INTERVIEW
Fathers, please step up
Fairer policies and greater gender equity will boost S'pore's birth rate, says professor

By Tan Hui Yee, Correspondent

Professor Rosling says Singapore has not seen a reversal in the decline of fertility rates, unlike other high-income nations like Australia, because it lags behind in gender equality. -- ST PHOTO: LIM SIN THAI

SINGAPORE fathers are the real losers when they abdicate child-rearing responsibilities to mothers. And the state, too, becomes much poorer for it, says noted Swedish international health professor and public statistics advocate Hans Rosling.

Singapore, he notes, vexes over its baby shortage because the situation threatens its economic survival. But it should be more concerned that its falling total fertility rate (TFR) shows poor gender equity, which is an indicator of social progress.

The 62-year-old academic from Stockholm's Karolinska Institutet, which awards the Nobel Prize for medicine, was in town recently to speak at the UBS Philanthropy Forum.

'A fertility rate of 1.23 children per woman indicates that life is not that optimal for young women in Singapore. You can gather from that that Singapore women have to make a choice, either to have children or to have an active professional career,' he says.

Their inordinate sacrifice stems from the fact that would-be fathers here are not rising to the task of child-rearing, and state support for equal parenting roles is not adequate. In response, women are saying 'no' to babies.

Singapore, he notes, is a close cousin to Sweden in income and infant mortality rate. Yet both countries are moving in opposite directions when it comes to fertility rates, with the Swedish figure climbing to a 16-year high of 1.94 children per woman last year, while Singapore's dipped to a nadir of 1.23.
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Success University 5 (Mar 10 - Jul 10)

Postby winston » Wed May 12, 2010 10:34 pm

Nothing is more debilitating than to care about something you can't do anything about.

And you can't do anything about your adult children. You can want better for them, and maybe even begin to provide something for them, but in the long run, you cannot do anything about someone else's vibration other than hold them in the best light you can, mentally, and then project that to them.

And sometimes, distance makes that much more possible than being up close to them.

--- Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Ashland, OR on Saturday, July 19th, 2003 #437


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