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*** Article:
7 Golden Rules of Communication - By Dr. Gudrun Frerichs ***
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Good communication is not rocket science. It's also not 'painting by numbers' where people have to learn a set of techniques. It's not enough to learn some skills.
The key to good communication is not just having good communication skills, but also having self-awareness. Why do you react and behave the way you do? What motivates your actions?
A cardinal problem at the root of conflict between people is the belief that the other person "makes you feel xyz". Eleanor Roosevelt already stated "Nobody can make you feel anything without your consent!" That leads us to the...
Golden Rule No. 1: It's not about you!What someone else says or does to your is never about you! Don't take what another person says personally!
You only run the risk to become defensive and the situation will most likely escalate into a conflict.
People only communicate from their own history and their own needs. What can you do? Look for the deeper, underlying meaning of the communication. What is the other person's need?
Mastering rule no. 1 is certainly not easy. To be self-aware enough and detached enough to not be offended, defensive, or reactive when accused by someone (i.e. "you make me angry")takes knowing yourself very well.
It means that you need the skill to reflect on your actions, the other person's actions, and on the dynamics created amongst them.
Golden Rule No. 2: Listen - Listen - Listen!Many people think that communicating is mostly about telling other people about yourself. They talk and talk about themselves.
Being in love with their own voice, they don't notice that they may come across as a self-obsessed person.
What they totally overlook is that the most important part in communicating is listening.
Listening is not just waiting for your turn to speak. By listen actively you show the other person you care. It is one of the greatest gifts you can give another person. It is one of the most healing and soothing experiences you can provide.
Do you struggle with listening skills? One of the best listening skills is "Active Listening". When you go to my website
http://gudrunfrerichs.com, you will find examples about how to listen actively.
It's all about "how much you made when you were right" & "how little you lost when you were wrong"