Life 02 (Nov 08 - May 09)

Life 02 (Nov 08 - May 09)

Postby winston » Sun Nov 02, 2008 8:06 am

Want To Be Truly Happy? by Mike Brescia

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Today's Empowering Question
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"What can I do for someone today that will help them now?"

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Today's Fast Session
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Yesterday, I got a real slap in the face.

The owner of an auto service business I had been going to for many YEARS, treated me more or less like a common criminal. I had forgotten my wallet, but I had my AMEX card (which he doesn't accept) in my pocket.

So, instead of letting me go home to get my wallet, he insisted that someone bring a form of payment before he would give me the keys to my car.

He said, "So you want me to chase you around to get paid?"

He actually said that to me. For $28. He knows me. I've been going there for years. I see him on the average of every two months.

This is an extreme example of not being able to see the forest for the trees.

Most of the sticky situations we all find ourselves in don't usually SEEM clear as to what we should do. But it probably is clear, if you are.

From the time we're able to do it, we like to help people. My son, who's three, says, "Mickey help too!" After he "helps," we thank him profusely, and even applaud. Usually, he immediately does something else to "help" too. We all like to be recognized and appreciated. When we're toddlers, that's why we do it, right?

Because it makes us feel good...

When do people usually stop being so enthusiastic about helping out and serving others? Isn't it often when they feel it's under appreciated?

I don't know about you, but I just had a breakthrough as I type here. Wow!

I just thought about all the times when I hid out trying to avoid doing anything. And it occurs to me that I wasn't going to get any kind of heartfelt thanks. Or any kind of thanks. Just criticism if I didn't do something perfectly.

My mind also went to times when I was the critic and wondered why I didn't get enthusiasm and eager help.

I'll bet if you sat down, got quiet and got real honest with yourself, you would realize that one reason you often don't perform at your best, and look to help out more often is the lack of appreciation.

This is where the value of healthy self-esteem and confidence comes in to play. It must take over when the outside world isn't recognizing you for your contributions.

You must recognize you.

You must affirm your value and your ability constantly. This is what separates the winners from the losers...

The haves and have-nots.

The happy from the desperately depressed.

If you can't do something unless you get outside encouragement, then you're going to be sitting around a lot.

Serving others and being a "self starter" is what success is all about. I hear, "What should I do?" every day.

First you've got to get focused on other people.
Helping others is why we were put here on earth, not to play and entertain ourselves all day. If you don't help anyone throughout the course of each day, you have no purpose. You don't have to have tremendous strength and capabilities to make yourself useful. Just the ability to care.

Even a sympathetic ear can be the biggest help sometimes.

When I train new salespeople, the first lesson is always about getting clear on why you're calling someone. It's to help THEM. They must love their customers so much that it comes out in every word, every action.

That's why you were put here. Make that the focus of your days and your hours. You'll get the appreciation you crave, if you do.

And if you don't?

Well, that's why we include affirmations in every letter. So YOU can give it to yourself, and so you can instruct yourself instead of waiting for someone else to tell you what to do!
It's all about "how much you made when you were right" & "how little you lost when you were wrong"
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Re: Life

Postby millionairemind » Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:53 pm

THE VALUE OF TIME

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who has failed his exam;
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby;
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask an editor of a weekly;
To realize the value of ONE DAY, ask a daily wage laborer;
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask lovers waiting to meet;
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who has missed the train;
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who has survived an accident;
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who has won a silver medal in Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have!
"If a speculator is correct half of the time, he is hitting a good average. Even being right 3 or 4 times out of 10 should yield a person a fortune if he has the sense to cut his losses quickly on the ventures where he has been wrong" - Bernard Baruch

Disclaimer - The author may at times own some of the stocks mentioned in this forum. All discussions are NOT to be construed as buy/sell recommendations. Readers are advised to do their own research and analysis.
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Re: Life

Postby winston » Sun Nov 02, 2008 10:34 pm

Five Steps for Reducing Stress After a Crisis By Kathryn Watson

Back to back hurricanes Gustav and Ike roared through the gulf coast and numerous states to the north. This path of destruction was like no other and left millions without power and even water. Whether you are a victim of this or another disaster there are a few simple things you can do to help overcome stress. The following 5 ways to manage your stress are easy. Follow these steps for natural stress relief.

1. Keep a journal

On one page of your journal you can write down all of your frustrations and keep note of how you are feeling. A client told me that she felt guilty for feeling angry about having no power when many people have no home at all. Just because you have more than someone else doesn’t mean that it’s not Ok to be angry, depressed, frustrated or sad about your situation. We all have these feelings it is part of being human. Pretending that you do not have these feelings will only bury them in your body creating health problems down the road. So get it out on paper!

Then when you have finished dumping begin to notice all of the things that you are grateful for. Your life! Your home if you still have one! People who are helping you! A roof over your head! Food to eat! Nice weather! I like to note in my gratitude journal each and every person who helped or offered assistance to me that day. This helps me to realize how truly blessed I am!

2. Pump on your vitamins, especially vitamin B

This is not the time to forget to take your vitamins. Be diligent about taking your vitamins every day. Your body/mind has been under both physical and mental stress and you need to support it in every way that you can. The B vitamins are known as the stress vitamins and can be found in foods such as eggs, spinach, whole grains. If you are unable to get these things in your diet you may need to take a supplement.

3. Take a news fast

Stop watching the TV news 24/7. Chances are they are showing the same devastating pictures over and over. Your subconscious mind does not differentiate between what is happing to you right now and what has already happened so every time you watch the news your body produces stress hormones keeping you in a state of fight or flight. Just doing this one thing will help you overcome stress.

Get your news via the paper or and online source where you are in control to read one or two articles about the disaster and then move on to something more pleasant.

4. Practice deep breathing

This is the quickest way to get your body out of a state of fight or flight. Breathing in through your nose slowly to the count of 6, then hold to the count of 4 and then exhale through your mouth to the count of 8. If you have a hard time breathing in or out to these counts just use this as a benchmark to achieve. Keep practicing until you can easily breathe in 6, hold 4 and out 8. You will find your anxiety and depression lift along with frustration, boredom and anxiety, all of which are all signs that your body/mind is under stress.

5. Take a walk out doors and spend time socializing

If you can get out in nature then make sure that you take a walk every day. 10 or 15 minutes outside soaking up a little sun (yes a little is good for you! It provides the much needed vitamin D), listening to the birds and letting go of your cares! The walking will help to relax your body and studies have shown that being in and around nature will rejuvenate your spirit.

Like wise spending time socializing with others will give your spirit the lift it needs. Make sure you choose people who have a positive attitude. You can visit with a friend in person or over the phone. "Just talking on the phone to a friend has the immediate effect of lowering your blood pressure and cortisol levels," says Teresa Seeman, PhD, a professor of medicine and epidemiology at UCLA. Cortisol is the hormone our body produces when we are stressed.

These five stress reducers will help your body and your mind to return to a normal state of being. Remember you will get through this crisis and by paying attention to what is happening to your body and mind you can take these easy steps to ensure that you stay balanced. By keeping your balance you not only help yourself but you will be better able to help those around you.


Author's Bio

As a Life and Relaxation Coach Kathryn Watson gives her clients the tools to lead a happy and relaxed life. Visit www.relaxforsuccess.com for more information
It's all about "how much you made when you were right" & "how little you lost when you were wrong"
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Re: Life

Postby winston » Mon Nov 03, 2008 3:11 pm

In most lawsuits, most people just use each other as their excuse to disconnect from the Stream. And then they just suffer until the one who is the least disconnected wins the lawsuit. But it is still an exercise in disconnecting from Source Energy that we think is never worth the price of the reward, no matter how great the reward of a lawsuit is.

Excerpted from a workshop in Buffalo, NY on Wednesday, September 27th, 2000

All Is Well
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Re: Life

Postby winston » Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:52 pm

Helping Someone Grieve By Suzanne Richardson

W recently lost his brother to cancer. When a dear friend failed to call him afterward, W was hurt. "Why didn't Alison call?" he wondered. "She must not care."

Maybe Alison felt uncomfortable... Maybe she didn't know what to say... Maybe she wanted to give W a few days to compose himself. But whatever she was thinking, not calling as soon as she heard about his brother's death was a mistake.

When people lose someone close to them, they don't need silence. They need to feel that other people care - that they are not alone.

If you don't know what to say, tell them that you don't know what to say. If you feel awkward, tell them that you feel awkward. But no matter what you do, or how you convey your condolences, make sure you acknowledge their loss instead of avoiding it.

Saying something as simple as "I'm so sorry for your loss" will give your friend the sympathy he needs.
It's all about "how much you made when you were right" & "how little you lost when you were wrong"
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Re: Life

Postby kennynah » Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:54 pm

this is very cultural.... i suspect we Asians prefer to keep quiet if we have nothing good to say ...then to pretend to sound caring, when we may be just passing acquaintances...that "fakeness" may not go well with many of us....
Options Strategies & Discussions .(Trading Discipline : The Science of Constantly Acting on Knowledge Consistently - kennynah).Investment Strategies & Ideas

Image..................................................................<A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control-Proverbs 29:11>.................................................................Image
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Re: Life

Postby millionairemind » Mon Nov 03, 2008 10:02 pm

My Purpose
By Thomas Dekker (1570-1641)

To awaken each morning with a smile brightening
my face;
To greet the day with reverence for the
opportunities it contains;

To approach my work with a clean mind;
To hold ever before me, even in the doing of little things,
the ultimate purpose toward which I am working;
To meet men and women with laughter on my lips
and love in my heart;

To be gentle, kind and courteous through all the hours;
To approach the night with weariness that ever woos sleep
and the joy that comes form work well done
– this is how I desire to waste wisely my days.
"If a speculator is correct half of the time, he is hitting a good average. Even being right 3 or 4 times out of 10 should yield a person a fortune if he has the sense to cut his losses quickly on the ventures where he has been wrong" - Bernard Baruch

Disclaimer - The author may at times own some of the stocks mentioned in this forum. All discussions are NOT to be construed as buy/sell recommendations. Readers are advised to do their own research and analysis.
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Re: Life

Postby winston » Mon Nov 03, 2008 10:10 pm

7 Secrets for a Happy Life By Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We all want to be happy, but something always gets in the way. There is never enough time... or money. Somebody is always failing to do what they are "supposed" to do... or not do. Our boss, our spouse, our kids, our parents, our friends, government, big business, whoever... "They" aren't doing it right. "They" failed us. We are angry, and we have a right to be angry. But is that righteous anger making us happy?

Happiness is not something anyone else can give us... or take away from us. Happiness is what we make of our lives... or don't. Whatever our circumstances, we can create a joyful life... or a miserable life. It is up to us.

Here are my 7 Secrets for a Happy Life:

1. Have Self-Respect: If I don't love and respect myself, who will? It all starts right here with ME. If I think that I'm a pretty good person, it doesn't much matter what anyone else thinks. And the irony is that once I like myself, most everyone else will like me too. People enjoy being around people who speak well of themselves - not in an arrogant boastful way, but with honest self-appreciation.

2. Forgive Everyone for Everything: Angry and happy don't mix. Flush out the angry, and the happy has a place to put down roots. Until we forgive everyone for everything, we hold on to anger and resentment. Once we forgive, we can become happy. Forgiving is not a gift to someone else - Forgiving is our gift to ourselves - a great gift - the gift of happiness.

3. Be Grateful for All of Life: Each of us has been infinitely blessed - beginning with the gift of life. Whatever may appear to be missing or broken on any particular day, our glass is not half full, it is 99.9% full. More practically, when we feel ungrateful, we become unhappy. When we choose to feel and express our gratitude, the act of feeling and speaking our thanks creates a happiness within us. The more we express our gratitude, the more we have for which to be grateful. Today and every day, take time to celebrate life - whether an hour's meditation in a quiet natural space, or a brief moment's conscious pause to breathe deeply and celebrate gratitude for life.

4. Choose Happiness: Everything in life is a choice. There is never anything we ever "need" to do. Every action and thought is a choice and has consequences - pleasant or unpleasant. Whether you go to work today, change jobs, smile at the bank teller, order fried fish, yell at your kids, complain about life, hold a daily celebration of gratitude for life - they are all choices. Happiness is a choice. Stay alert and make conscious choices for happiness.

5. Begin at the End: You can never reach your destination if you don't have a destination. Decide what accomplishments you want recorded on your tombstone. Take a whole quiet day to consider your life. Be very clear that your happiness does NOT depend on reaching your goal. In fact, it's the reverse. Your happiness depends on accepting whatever life throws at you while you walk the path toward your goal. What is important for your happiness is having a goal, and working toward it.

6. Start Today: Whatever you want in life, start today. Not tomorrow - today. Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning. Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.

7. Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair": Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be. Demanding that life meet our expectations is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence. Life is a game with no rules. Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions. Our only path to happiness lies in being open to receiving whatever life throws at us - with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.


Author's Bio

Jonathan Lockwood Huie has been dubbed "The Philosopher of Happiness" by those closest to him, in recognition of his on-going commitment to seeing Joy in all of life. Jonathan's intention is to share his insights for Joyful Living with the widest possible audience.

Jonathan is an author of self-awareness books and free inspirational email publications.
It's all about "how much you made when you were right" & "how little you lost when you were wrong"
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Re: Life

Postby winston » Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:46 pm

What Causes Embarrassment? - By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. ***

I was conducting a weekend Inner Bonding workshop. Amanda, one of the participants, was working with me in front of the rest of the group. As we touched on a painful issue, she started to cry and immediately said, "I'm so embarrassed that I'm crying."

"What are you telling yourself right now that is causing you to feel embarrassed?" I asked her.

"I'm stupid for crying, and everyone here will think I'm stupid."

Given that one of the teachings in the workshop is learning to be in touch with your emotions, it was highly unlikely that anyone in the workshop was judging her for crying. What was causing Amanda's embarrassment was her own self-judgment.

When we judge ourselves as wrong or bad for something we are feeling, doing, or have done in front of others, we will feel embarrassed. Another person can do the exact same thing and feel no embarrassment at all. For example, the next person to come up to work with me in this workshop was a young man who also started to cry. Yet it was obvious that he felt no embarrassment at all for his tears. In fact, he seemed relieved to be able to cry.

What are the kinds of behaviors you have judged yourself for that have caused you to feel embarrassed?

Do you judge yourself for making a mistake? What do you tell yourself when you make a mistake that makes you feel embarrassed?

"Now everyone will think I'm stupid."
"Now people won't like me."
"How could I have done such a stupid thing?"

Of course, any of these statements will cause you to feel embarrassed. But what if you said to yourself something like:

"Oh well, I'm human. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes."
"It's okay that I made a mistake. That's how I'll learn."

These kinds of statements come from compassion rather than judgment. You will not feel embarrassed when you allow yourself to be human in front of others -- to cry, to make mistakes, to not know something, to be wrong about something, to mess up, to act badly sometimes, to occasionally forget something, to mispronounce a word, to get lost while driving, to be insensitive, to fall apart, to get angry, to sweat and smell bad or have problems with other bodily functions, to forget the words to the song you are singing, to forget the lines to the play you are in, to get a bad grade, to fall down, to miss the dance step -- and so on.

Wouldn't it be great if you allowed yourself to be human? Wouldn't you feel freer and more relaxed in your life if you allowed yourself to mess up without judging yourself? Allowing yourself to be human means allowing yourself to just be who you are -- a wonderful human being who will make mistakes, who will mess up, who will be vulnerable.

Can you value yourself if you are different from other people? A friend of mine is embarrassed because he likes Barry Manilow, and he thinks that "real men" don't like that kind of music. If he learned to accept who he is rather than judge who he is, he will stop feeling embarrassed and begin to value himself.

In our culture, many people have learned to be embarrassed about various aspects of their body, telling themselves that this is too little, or that is too big. How sad that we have been taught that we are not okay if something is not bigger or something else is not smaller.

We all have the option of choosing to accept ourselves just as we are, and when you make this choice, you will no longer experience embarrassment.

About the Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now!
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Re: Life

Postby winston » Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:16 am

Beyond Self-Actualization by Alexander Green

Throughout the 20th century, most psychological research focused on the dark and destructive side of human nature, the abnormal, the psychotic.

Abraham Maslow changed that.

Rather than focusing on phobias, neuroses, obsessions and other mental disorders, the pioneering psychologist studied individuals who lived abundant lives, making the best use of their qualities and capacities and exhibiting the highest levels of mental health.

He called these men and women self-actualizers.

Maslow believed that human beings have a hierarchy of needs. Higher needs are only met when lower ones have been fulfilled.

At the bottom, for example, we have physiological needs like oxygen, food, water, and sleep.

Next we have safety and security needs. These include things like a safe neighborhood, a secure and comfortable home, and a regular source of income.

Beyond these, we all require love and belonging. We seek friends, a romantic partner, an affectionate family, social groups and a sense of community.

Once these needs are met, we look to fulfill our esteem. People everywhere crave freedom, attention, recognition, appreciation, and status.

At this point, however, many individuals stop. Things are pretty comfortable. Life is good. Yet real satisfaction is often lacking for a very specific reason.

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately happy," said Maslow. "What a man can be, he must be. This need we call self-actualization."
What is it exactly?

Using a qualitative method called "biographical analysis," Maslow chose an elite group of highly functioning people, interviewed them and the people around them, or studied their words, acts, and letters.

His group included such luminaries as Albert Einstein, Eleanor Roosevelt, Walt Whitman, William James, Albert Schweitzer, Benedict Spinoza, and Thomas Jefferson. From his research, Maslow distilled 16 characteristics that define the self-actualizing individual:

1. Openness to experience. Self-actualizers are eager to undergo new experiences and rethink old ideas.

2. An efficient perception of reality. Self-actualizers see things as they really are, not as they imagine or wish them to be.

3. Acceptance of self, nature and others. Self-actualizers rarely feel anxious, guilty or ashamed. They are confident in themselves and their ability to solve problems.

4. Spontaneity and naturalness. Self-actualizers are genuine in their relationships. They do not wear masks or play roles.

5. Focus on outside problems. Self-actualizers are not self-obsessed. Their focus is on a general "mission" to which they devote their lives.

6. Detachment and privacy. Self-actualizers crave solitude and time for quiet reflection.

7. Continued freshness or appreciation. The self-actualizing man or woman experiences joy in simple, everyday things: sunsets, starry nights, children laughing, autumn leaves.

8. Peak experiences. Self-actualizers experience strong, positive emotions akin to ecstasy. This may include a deep sense of peacefulness or tranquility.

9. Empathy. Self-actualizers are more willing to listen to and learn from people of any class, race, religion or ideology.

10. Interpersonal relations. Self-actualizing people tend to have relatively fewer friends, but those relationships are likely to be deep and meaningful.

11. Democratic character. The self-actualizer recognizes we all have strengths and weaknesses, but that we share a common humanity and equality.

12. Discrimination between ends and means. Self-actualizers work to achieve desirable ends, but avoid wrong or hurtful means to achieve them.

13. Philosophical sense of humor. Self-actualizers enjoy humor but not at the expense of others. (As Goethe said, "Men show their character in nothing more clearly than what they think laughable.")

14. Creativity. Self-actualizers enjoy using their creative abilities, whether it's writing, drawing, music or woodworking. (Maslow once remarked that a first-rate soup is better than a second-rate painting.

15. Resistance to inculturation. Self-actualizers are not dependent on the opinions of others or the conventions imposed by society. They have a keen sense of who and what they are.

16. Awareness of imperfections. Self-actualizers are not saints. They have weaknesses and shortcomings like everyone else. But they are aware of them.

Self-actualization is not a goal. It is a philosophy of life, a continual striving, a process of development.

"One's only rival is one's potentialities," said Maslow. "One's only failure is failing to live up to one's own possibilities. In this sense, every man can be a king."

This is achieved by shunning the safe, the comfortable, the routine - and instead seeking opportunities for growth.

"One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth," wrote Maslow. "Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again."

Essentially, self-actualization means seeing life as a series of choices - and choosing the growth choice each time.

According to Maslow, this uniquely human need is at the core of our nature. It creates meaning in our lives.

Throughout his lifetime, Maslow received numerous honors for his original thinking and his breakthroughs in human psychology. Toward the end of his career, however, he had an epiphany - and reversed himself. Self-actualization is essential. Yet there is another plateau: self-transcendence.

Self-transcendence, Maslow argued, is a meta-need, a higher state of consciousness where we transcend our ego and embrace a fundamental connection with the rest of the world. This transcendence is generally accompanied by intense happiness and well-being, the feeling that one is aware of "ultimate truth" and the unity of all things.

Maslow called self-transcendence the next step in human evolution.

Despite his reputation as a brilliant researcher - Maslow actually received the second-highest IQ score ever recorded - many of his colleagues were outraged. Critics argued that it is logically impossible for the self to transcend itself. Some referred to self-transcendence as "numinous nonsense," claiming Maslow had abandoned the practical for the mystical.

But perhaps he only fused the two.

In the second century B.C, the great Indian sage Pantanjali wrote, "When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be."

Maslow believed self-transcendence takes us beyond rational self-interest, beyond individual self-actualization - and allows us to do something more meaningful: help others reach their potential.

Until his death in 1970, Maslow encouraged individuals to develop their innate talents and abilities to their fullest extent. (The field of transpersonal psychology sprang up from his studies.) But he also believed he had discovered a higher wisdom, something greater than self-actualization.

"The true value of a human being," said Albert Einstein, "is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained liberation from the self."

Sounds transcendent to me.
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