Life 01 (May 08 - Oct 08)

[winston]

In Praise of "Difficult Pleasures" by Alexander Green

Last week my brother Carter invited me to attend a performance of "King Lear" at the Blackfriars Playhouse in Staunton, Virginia.

The 300-seat playhouse is the world's only re-creation of Shakespeare's original Globe Theatre. And the resident company has received international acclaim for its performance of Shakespeare's works under their original staging conditions - a simple stage, without elaborate sets, with the audience sharing the same lights as the actors.

Lear, of course, is Shakespeare's profound and timeless exploration of the meaning of life. And the performance that evening was not just good but exceptional, with the actors clearly relishing their roles. (Funny how superior acting can bring to life qualities that lie dormant on the page.)

I confess that I have not invested as much time as I'd like reading "The Bard." But that's changing.

Like generations before me, I often complained that "Shakespeare was ruined for me in high school." You may have had the same experience.

But let's concede that Elizabethan English is a challenge for modern readers. And when we're young, it's too early for much of Shakespeare to resonate with us.

If you haven't experienced great triumphs, temptations, disappointments, love affairs, false friends, a broken heart, the corrupting influence of politics, or the pleasures and tribulations of parenthood, Shakespeare may cross your head at 30,000 feet.

Then, too, there is the way Shakespeare is often taught, especially the sonnets.

In his poem "Introduction to Poetry," former Poet Laureate Billy Collins writes that teachers often "tie the poem to a chair with rope and torture a confession out of it. They begin beating it with a hose to find out what it really means."

If that sounds eerily reminiscent of your own introduction to Shakespeare, you may want to try again.

But why bother? One reason is that Shakespeare is the presiding genius of the English language. Another is the profound enjoyment you can receive from tackling "difficult pleasures."

Let's start with Shakespeare himself. The author of 38 plays, 154 sonnets and many poems, Shakespeare arguably wrote the best poetry and prose in English.

He thought more comprehensively and originally than any writer before or since. No other playwright's works are performed more frequently. Only the Bible has been more widely translated.

Shakespeare is rightly venerated.

If I'm approaching what George Bernard Shaw called "bardolatry," consider what Bill Bryson says in his new biography "Shakespeare":

"If we take the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations as our guide, then Shakespeare produced roughly one-tenth of all the most quotable utterances written or spoken in English since its inception - a clearly remarkable proportion."

Remarkable? That billions of people have spoken the language and a single individual is responsible for roughly 10% of the most quotable things ever said is almost beyond belief.

Shakespeare's influence is so pervasive that we walk around quoting him every day without even realizing it.

Just a small sampling of phrases originally found in Shakespeare's works include flesh and blood, bated breath, tower of strength, foul play, foregone conclusion, good riddance, dead as a doornail, fool's paradise, heart of gold, Greek to me, fancy-free, devil incarnate, one fell swoop, for goodness' sake, vanish into thin air, play fast and loose, eaten me out of house and home, elbow room, go down the primrose path, in a pickle, budge an inch, cold comfort, household word, full circle, salad days, in my heart of hearts, in my mind's eye, laughing stock, love is blind, lie low, naked truth, neither rhyme nor reason, star-crossed lovers, pitched battle, pound of flesh, sea change, make short shrift, spotless reputation, set my teeth on edge, there's the rub, too much of a good thing, what the dickens, and wild goose chase.

Despite these now-common phrases, you may have been turned off by Shakespeare in the past simply because you encountered so many unfamiliar words. If so, you're in good company. Many of them were unfamiliar to his audiences 400 years ago.

Indeed, during his productive peak he was coining new words at a rate of one every two and a half lines. (Scholars claim that Hamlet alone gave audiences nearly 600 words they had never heard before.)

In his biography, Bryson points out that "among the words first found in Shakespeare are abstemious, antipathy, critical, frugal, dwindle, extract, horrid, vast, hereditary, critical, excellent, eventful barefaced, assassination, lonely, leapfrog, indistinguishable, well-read, zany, and countless others (including countless)."

Of course, Shakespeare isn't considered one of the great creative geniuses just because he kept Noah Webster awake at night. He created utterly original and consistent voices for more than 100 major characters and several hundred minor ones. In the process, he showed the world what it means to be human.

In "Shakespeare: The Invention of the Human," Harold Bloom says, "Shakespeare's uncanny power in the rendering of personality is perhaps beyond explanation. Why do his personages seem so real to us, and how could he contrive that illusion so persuasively?... The plays remain the outward limit of human achievement: aesthetically, cognitively, in certain ways morally, even spiritually."

If you haven't read Shakespeare, there's still time to discover (or re-discover) him. And perhaps you should. As Henry David Thoreau advised, "Read the best books first, or you may not have a chance to read them at all."

Even if you initially find Shakespeare complex, obscure, or "not to your taste," keep plugging. There can be deep satisfaction in difficult pleasures. By their very nature, however, they require time and persistence.

If you offer a six-year-old a choice between a hot dog or linguine with white clam sauce, for instance, he will invariably go for the frankfurter.

No surprise here. A six-year-old hasn't developed his palate.

Offer the average teenager a choice between a rap song by Snoop Doggy Dogg or Ella Fitzgerald singing a selection from the Cole Porter songbook and he'll prefer the tune where his subwoofer can be heard two blocks away.

Most of us understand why. (I went through my own "bad-haircut, loud-clothes and god-awful music" phase.)

Yet as we reach middle age and beyond, our tastes generally mature. They become more refined. We give up comic books and pulp fiction for history and literature. We play bridge, gin or poker rather than Crazy Eights or Old Maid. We may prefer a single malt scotch or glass of sauvignon blanc to a Bud Lite. (Unless, of course, there's a game on.)

In short, we begin to enjoy the challenge and mental exercise of more difficult pleasures. It's part of growing up, realizing your potential, and becoming who you are.

If you already prefer chess to checkers, The New York Times crossword puzzle to People magazine, or Sodoku to an in-flight Adam Sandler flick, we're probably in agreement here.

Aside from the sheer enjoyment of tackling more challenging pastimes, studies show that exercising your mental faculties helps prevent the onset of mild depression, dementia and other mental disabilities.

So stretch out, challenge yourself, get those brain cells moving. A few years from now you'll be the same person you are today, except for the experiences you have and the books you read.

Fortunately, there are plenty of great works out there. Few, however, are superior to Shakespeare. So pick up a recording of the sonnets, attend a play at your local theater, or rent Laurence Olivier's 1948 masterpiece "Hamlet."

And don't feel like you have to tough it out. Cheat a little - as I often do before a performance - by picking up a copy of "Shakespeare Made Easy" or "Simply Shakespeare," containing modern line-for-line translations aside the original text. Once you're familiar with the plot, the language won't be an obstacle to your enjoyment.

Spark Notes has even posted modern translations of 19 major Shakespeare works - including the sonnets - online for free.

If you revisit Shakespeare and do find him too challenging to be pleasurable, back up and read Jane Austen, Oscar Wilde or Mark Twain. Then try again. It will be time well spent.

As the Russian poet Joseph Alexandrovitch Brodsky observed, "There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them.

[winston]

The No. 1 Secret to Wealthy Living By Dr. Steve Sjuggerud

Greetings from the Oregon coast where I'm living my dream.

I'm living well. The great thing is, "living well" by my definition doesn't cost much money at all. That's because my definition of living well isn't about, well, "stuff." Let me explain...

Yesterday, I windsurfed perfect head-high waves alongside 2004 World Champion Scott McKercher. The day before, I went surfing with champion paddle surfer Ekolu Kalama and his wife. No crowd, just us. For comparison, if you're a golfer, it's like hanging out with Tiger Woods for the day, just the two of you.

I feel fortunate to be here with these guys... and it reminds me of what's important in life:

It's about EXPERIENCE, not STUFF.

My wife and I try to live this idea – that "experience" is more important than "stuff."

For example, our kids (ages seven and five) are probably the only kids they know that don't have a PlayStation or an Xbox or a Nintendo Wii. They don't have a ton of stuff. But they've got tons of life experience...

Our kids have seen the world... They've been as far north as Iceland. And they've been as far south as New Zealand. Yet we don't have big flat-screen TVs in our living room or den. (Are we the last Americans to actually have regular TVs?)

The great thing is, life experiences don't have to cost much at all. Waves are free. Wind is free. Spending time with your friends and family is free.

Before I came out to Oregon, we spent time with my family in Orlando. Over the weekend, the kids shot waterguns at their granddad in the pool, and my mom fixed unbeatable home-cooked breakfasts. Everyone had a great time. It was a great family experience. And it sure didn't cost much. It's not what it costs that makes it valuable.

It wasn't about buying "stuff." And this trip to the Oregon coast isn't about "stuff" either.

I define living well as
1) having time with friends and family,
2) pursuing my passions, and
3) well, not worrying about money. The nice thing is, you don't need a fortune to live well by that definition.

Living well to me isn't about monster flat-screen TVs, driving a BMW, or wearing diamond-encrusted watches. How about you?

You only have so much money... so what do you put a premium on?

It's so easy in America to be sucked into "stuff" – from the pressure to "keep up with the Joneses" to the constant barrage of advertising from every angle.

But you can't take stuff with you. I've heard investor Doug Casey say, "I've never seen a hearse with luggage racks." And if stuff is what you choose, just remember, you'll be busy working for the rest of your life to pay for your stuff.

If you follow my definition of living well, then the goal becomes living life to the fullest instead of buying stuff... and saving instead of buying so you don't have to worry about money.

People want to invest successfully so they don't have to worry about money. If you change your definition of living well, then you can get to the point of not worrying about money a lot faster.

Again, my idea of living well is:

1) Having time with friends and family.
2) Pursuing my passions (which I'm doing on the Oregon coast now).
3) Not having to worry about money.

What's your idea of living well? Is it about the experience, or the stuff?

[winston]

How to Find the Lighter Side of Life
By Bob Cox

Whether you are trying to build a business... lose 20 pounds... learn French... or get that promotion you've been eyeing, you're working hard to achieve something meaningful to you. You take that goal very seriously. And you should. You should work hard and be diligent.

But there's one other thing you need to do: You need to lighten up. So today, I'm going to help you do that.

I'm not suggesting that you should laugh and shrug off any problems that come up. I'm just saying that you should be a little more flexible in the way you deal with them. You see, it is far too easy to become rigid in our thinking and the way we approach any challenge. Maintaining a sense of humor helps us get beyond that rigidity.

The value of humor is almost a "no brainer" when you think about it. It can help you get out of a tough spot... reduce tension... and put you in a more relaxed frame of mind. Simply put, when you learn to lighten up, the achievement of almost any goal will go more smoothly.

For way too long I was too rigid in pursuing my goals. I didn't see it at the time, but this actually affected my ability to achieve them - the exact opposite of what I intended by being so serious.

A few years ago, for instance, I got caught up in my desire to complete a particular project on time and on budget. The accomplishment of that mission dominated my mind to such an extent that my team members did not enjoy working with me - and the project wasn't getting done.

After enough negative feedback on my obsessiveness, I realized that I was the problem. I recognized that I wasn't saving the planet or doing brain surgery... so I needed to step back and lighten up.

Once I did, we all started to enjoy the work. The lighter side of me brought tons of creative input and ideas to the table. And when the project was completed, there was an abundance of smiles and high-fives.

My sense of accomplishment was sweeter because of the camaraderie. And things kept getting better after that initial success. The entire team was on board and looking forward to our next goal to tackle, because the experience of working together had been so rewarding.

It's a surprising and powerful revelation: You can make any process more productive and enjoyable when you lighten up on yourself and others.

If you find that you have a hard time giving up your serious side, even after you give it a good try, I've come up with five tips to help you.

Lighten Up Strategy #1: Don't take everything so seriously.

Yes, life is serious. But in most cases, it's only as serious as you want to make it.

When, for example, you are in a meeting where everyone around the table is offering ideas... don't automatically shoot down any that seem silly or trivial. Be generous in your response, and really listen to everyone's input. The team member who didn't have a good idea in the morning may come back with a great one in the afternoon. And you don't want to discourage them from voicing that great idea later by cutting them off earlier in the day.

Lighten Up Strategy #2: Let go of your need for control.

Nobody can - or should - be in control of everything all the time. Allow yourself to be open to new ideas. If you open up to all the ideas and input that comes to you from others (like the example I gave in Strategy #1), you stand a greater chance of finding the best way to achieve your goal.

It could feel risky at first, but stay with it and watch your progress and productivity grow.

Lighten Up Strategy #3: Be more spontaneous.

Becoming more spontaneous can be challenging if, like me, you enjoy the comfort of routines. Yet I have learned that spontaneity allows for moments of real joy and creativity.

I am much more spontaneous in person than in the written word. It is far easier for me to have a one-on-one conversation or give a speech than to write.

I start with a blank page and a basic theme for my message. Then I just write. If I get too caught up in "This article must be fabulous" mode, I start to freeze. So I force myself to keep going, knowing that I can go back later and revamp or make changes.

Lighten Up Strategy #4: Smile every chance you get.

This concept is huge!

You always want to make a positive impression on people... and the easiest way to do that is to smile at them. Smile at the grocery clerk when you are checking out. Smile at the waiter or waitress taking your order. Smile at the toll booth operator taking your quarters. And smile at friends, family, co-workers, supervisors, and everybody else you encounter.

Smile even when you're on the phone. If you are calling someone... start your smile the moment you begin dialing. If you are taking a call... start your smile even before you flip open your cellphone or pick up the receiver. Believe me, that smile will come across in your voice to the other person on the line.

Lighten Up Strategy #5: Don't forget to play.

You never outgrow your need to play - in order to maintain your sense of humor and, by extension, a full and balanced life. Yet, too often, it is forgotten.

To play is to have fun, be delighted, and experience joy. Play time can be a solo effort or involve others. You might tell jokes, play a board game, have a paper airplane contest... anything that releases tension and gets your positive energy flowing. If you incorporate at least a couple of hours of play time into your weekly schedule, you will find yourself enjoying every part of your life even more.

All five of the above strategies will "power up" your sense of humor and help you embrace your sunnier side while you're working toward your goals. And once you start enjoying the process, you'll reach success that much faster. There really is time for humor and fun along the way.

[winston]

Who's Right? by Bob Tschannen-Moran

Much of life revolves around the game of "Who's right?".

When we do something, we often evaluate our behavior as "good" or "bad". The "bad" things tend to stick with us. Many of our most vivid childhood memories relate to times when we either got in trouble or did something stupid. Check that statement against your own memory banks. I can't always remember what happened yesterday, but I can easily recall the time when I embarrassed myself in a middle-school math class. Go figure. The voice in the head, "You were wrong to act that way!" continues to reverberate to this very day.

When others do things, we also tend to evaluate their behavior as "good" or "bad". The "bad" things tend to irritate us. Irreconcilable differences, from the bedroom to the battlefield, involve such evaluations. Consider the following comments from the Presidents of Russia and Georgia in the wake of the war, as reported by the New York Times, "At a news conference on Friday, Mr. Medvedev accused Mr. Saakashvili of embracing 'idiotic ideas' that had provoked the war, while Mr. Saakashvili referred to the Russians as '21st-century barbarians.'" (August 17, 2008). Most of us can think of times when such language, or worse, has crossed our minds or come out of our own mouths.

Unfortunately, the game of "who's right?" is like the game of tic-tac-toe (or noughts and crosses): between two equally skilled players, no one ever wins. Some of you may remember the 1983 movie War Games starring Matthew Broderick as a teenage computer hacker. Having hacked into the computer which controls the US nuclear arsenal, Broderick innocently decides to play a game called "Global Thermonuclear War". What he doesn't realize is that his actions lead the computer to arm and launch actual missiles.

At the last minute, Broderick gets the computer to play against itself in a game of tic-tac-toe. In rapid-fire succession, the computer starts and finishes one game after another, only to have every game end in a draw. The lack of a winning strategy, in both tic-tac-toe and global thermonuclear war leads the computer to stand down the missiles with the remark, "the only winning move is not to play".

So, too, when it comes to the game of "Who's right?": the only winning move is not to play.

Don't play the game with others. When you have the urge to control or to criticize others, breathe deep and seek first to understand what may be going on with them in the present moment. When we seek to make others wrong, pointing out the errors of their ways or the superiority of our approach, we serve the needs of our own egos at the expense of our relationship with others.

In the end, our temporary feelings of superiority are cold comfort when we find ourselves increasingly isolated, alienated, and frustrated. Better to respond with empathy and example if we hope to experience and generate life-enriching interactions.

Don't play the game with yourself. When you become aware of the voice in your head berating you for what you have done or attempting to control what you are about to do, heighten your awareness of what's happening in the present moment and of what would make life more wonderful just now.

Become aware of the life force that is animating you. The voice in the head concerns itself with the past, the future, and the instructions of how to do things "right". By attending to that voice, we interfere with our performance and tie ourselves in knots. By identifying our feelings and needs in the here and now, we open ourselves up to empathy and understanding.

Empathy is possible with all people, at all times, including ourselves, once we recognize the beauty of the needs that people are trying to meet by their words and actions. Even when people are hurting themselves or others, they still have legitimate needs that are crying out, perhaps even screaming out, to be heard, acknowledged, and met. Until we appreciate those needs, both in ourselves and in others, we will continue to play the game of "Who's right?". Once we appreciate those needs, new words get spoken, new possibilities emerge, and new actions get taken.

Example is also possible with a complete absence of judgment and attachment. Children learn to walk by watching their parents walk, but parents don't walk as either instructors or evaluators. They don't tell toddlers how to walk and they don't tell them what they're doing wrong when they do walk. Parents just walk. They aren't striving to be role models, but they are examples from which children get ideas, learn, and grow. In the end, everyone does whatever they do in their own, unique ways. Once we appreciate those differences, new words get spoken, new possibilities emerge, and new actions get taken.

That is my hope for our world today. The game of "Who's right?", like the game of "Global Thermonuclear War", only leads to disaster. That's as true with our self-talk as it is in our communications with others and in our moves on the world stage. Until and unless we learn to approach life with empathy and example, things will spiral downward. The opposite happens, however, as soon as we learn to appreciate the universality of our needs and the individuality of our differences.

[winston]

A Tale of Two Winners
by Robert Ringer

"Leo" had a good strategy for handling big paydays. Throughout his career, whenever he received a big chunk of income, the first thing he did was carve out an amount sufficient to cover the income taxes he would have to pay on it and put the money in a special bank account.

The result, of course, was invisible, because the potential problem (having to cough up an unexpected number of dollars at tax time) never became an actual problem. Leo would then set aside 90 percent of the remaining money to expand his ever-increasing financial cushion. And with the remaining 10 percent, he indulged himself and his family with whatever luxuries their hearts desired.

I don’t believe I’ve ever known anyone who planned his financial life so carefully and followed through in such a disciplined manner. Leo did, in fact, hit a string of crises in the mid-eighties that might have put most wealthy people under. But thanks to his taxes-first, cushion-second, luxuries-third approach to allocating income, he was able to weather each and every adversity.

Today, Leo lives in a $35 million oceanfront mansion in Bermuda. Prior to moving to Bermuda full-time, he sold his home in Aspen for a cool $19.75 million, which The Wall Street Journal reported to be the biggest residential real estate sale in the history of Colorado.

I guess you’d say that because of his approach to finances, Leo is the consummate financial winner. Which brings me to another friend whom I had always placed in the same category as Leo.

Jack was the epitome of success - a go-go entrepreneur, always on the move, always making deals, always enthusiastic and positive. Like Leo, he owned two magnificent homes (in Florida and Wisconsin), not to mention a fishing lodge in Panama.

Just as important, Jack was a superb human being - kind, honest, and gracious to a fault. He was one of those lucky people who possess a natural quality that makes everyone instantly like and trust them.

Back in the early eighties, Jack and I were involved in a cellular-telephone deal together, and, as one of the financial requirements for filing cellular-licensing applications, he had to submit his personal financial statement. It was an impressive $32 million - a very liquid $32 million.

As the years passed, I moved abroad and got caught up in other matters. As a result, I lost contact with Jack. I did think about him from time to time and wondered how his life was going. But those "I’ll have to give him a call sometime" thoughts never manifested themselves into reality.

I vividly recall saying to my wife on one occasion, when Jack’s name happened to come up in conversation, "Knowing what a magic touch Jack has, I wouldn’t be surprised if his $32 million net worth has grown to more than a hundred million by now." Just the thought made me feel happy for him, because it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

Recently, I received an e-mail from Jack’s youngest son, Jay, saying that his father had passed away. Jay and I subsequently spoke by phone, and what he told me nearly took my breath away.

Jack had died penniless in a nursing home. About seven years after my last contact with him, the IRS presented him with a huge tax bill that forced him to sell most of what he owned at the time, including his palatial homes.

Dementia had begun to set in, followed by a stroke, then confinement to a wheelchair. The last several years of his life, Jack couldn’t speak at all and had to be fed and cared for by a nurse.

I was touched beyond words when Jay told me about the last time he saw his father alive.

Family members had warned him that Jack was so far gone he wouldn’t even recognize his own son. But they were wrong. Though he couldn’t speak, tears rolled down Jack’s cheeks when Jay entered the room.

It is impossible for me to focus on a mental picture of Jack confined to a wheelchair, unable to speak, his brain deadened - and penniless, to boot. For me, he will always be vibrant, confident, and the picture of prosperity.

I don’t know the details of Jack’s IRS problems, but sometimes the unforeseen circumstances Fate places in our path are just too much to handle. In this regard, Jack’s sad end reminds me of the words of Baltasar Gracian, the seventeenth century Jesuit priest who cautioned, "Place your winnings under cover when they are sufficient or large. … Fortune soon tires of carrying anyone long on her shoulders."

The words on Forrest Gump’s T-shirt put it more bluntly: "S___ happens." And it happens so frequently that a rational person has no choice but to recognize it as an integral part of life.

What’s especially irritating about it is that no matter how smart you are, no matter how successful you may be, and no matter how carefully you plan your financial affairs, there will likely be unforeseen circumstances that will register 8.4 at your epicenter.

All anyone can do to prepare for a seismic life shock of that magnitude is never forget that Fate sits on the other side of the Table of Life, plotting her next move. Make your financial moves very carefully, and never underestimate the unforeseen circumstances that she surely has in store for you.

Overconfidence is a dangerous card to play. And arrogance is as close as one can come to playing a fatal card. It’s a good idea to operate your life on the assumption that unforeseen circumstances are lurking in the shadows, just around the next bend. Fortune does not carry anyone on her shoulders indefinitely.

You should always try to hold a clear picture in your mind of the end result you’re after. And to the degree you become adept at this skill, you’re likely to end up with a very good batting average - payable in dollars. Nevertheless, it’s all for naught if you fail to make allowances for the roadblocks that are sure to be placed in your path by that fickle trickster known to humankind as Fate.

[millionairemind]

Love People and Use Things
I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called “Smile.” The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reaction. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say, hello anyway . . .so, I thought, this would be a piece of cake literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonalds, one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special play time with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch . . . an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible “dirty body” smell . . . and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was “smiling.” His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God’s Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, “Good day” as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally deficient and the blue eyed gentle man was his salvation. I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, “Coffee is all Miss” because that was all they could afford. To sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something . . . they just wanted to be warm. Then I really felt it . . . the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me . . . judging my every action.

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue eyed gentleman’s cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, “Thank you.” I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, “I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.” I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son.

When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, “That is why God gave you to me honey . . . to give me hope.” We held hands for moment and at that time we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given that we were able to give.

We are not church goers but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God’s sweet love. I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in “my project” and the instructor read it . . . then she looked up at me and said, “Can I share this?” I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we, as human beings and being part of God, share this need to heal people and be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonalds, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student. I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn . . . UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS—NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

[millionairemind]

Sunny Days
By Catherine Pulsifer, © 2008

Here in Canada, the month of August has brought rainy weather. Usually, August is a month of warm weather and sunshine, but we have had an unusually wet month. Some of you may be aware that we sell our unique handcrafted jewelry and inspirational products to the cruise ship passengers that dock in Saint John, NB. This past Saturday we had a ship dock and the rain was coming down. I felt bad for the passengers who were on vacation in our rainy city.

I had one woman in our booth and I said to her, "It's too bad it is raining. It would have been nicer if the sun was shining for you." Her response to me was, "It's okay, I am enjoying the day. If I waited only for the sunny days to enjoy life, I would miss out on some great days."

Her response made me think of how often we do wait for that one thing that we think will make us happier.
- when we make more money
- when we own our own home
- when we start that new job
- when the weekend comes, etc.

We need to live each day and enjoy it. I am not saying that we shouldn't have dreams and goals. What I am saying, though, is that we need to remind ourselves that everyday is meant to be lived.

"What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it."

[winston]

It's Fun to Know: The Relationship Between Height and Success
By Judith Strauss

Study after study has indicated that taller people are more successful in life. But before you use your lower-than-average height as an excuse for not becoming a superstar, consider this...

Napoleon was about 5'2" (or 5'6", depending on which source you trust).

Beethoven and Mozart were both about 5"4".

Former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich is 4' 10.5".

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm kinda short - assuming you think just shy of 5'1" is short. But in some ways, that's a plus. As Reich pointed out in a recent New York Times interview: "I use far fewer calories than the average person. I am much more economically and environmentally sustainable. I exhale less carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. I use up less space. I have a little house."

[winston]

How Much Are You Worth? Figure It Out and Make Your Life Much, Much Richer
By Michael Masterson

A French woman, upon seeing Picasso in a Parisian restaurant, approached the great master and insisted that he put down his coffee and make a quick sketch of her. Graciously, Picasso obliged. When he was done, she took the drawing, put it in her handbag, and then pulled out her billfold.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked.

"$5,000," was Picasso's reply.

"$5,000? But it took you only three minutes!" she exclaimed.

"No," Picasso answered. "It took me all my life."

That's how I feel about the work I do. My skills - as a marketer and small-business builder - are very valuable. If you want me to help you sell your products or grow your business, you can expect to pay me at least $2,000 an hour.

And that's only if I have the time... the work time... left in my schedule. If you want me to work during my personal time - evenings or weekends or during my vacation - how much would it cost you? You don't want to ask.

A reader - a wealthy businessman has been trying to persuade me to help him grow his business. Recently, he offered to pay me $50,000 to spend a weekend with him - plus "plenty more" if I agreed to provide ongoing support.

I graciously turned down his offer, and he had a hard time understanding why. "I'm offering to pay you $3,000 an hour," he said.

That's true. For 16 hours (two days' work), $50,000 amounts to just a bit more than $3,000 an hour. But I didn't want to do it, because he was asking me to give up my personal time - the time I spend with my family and friends and the time I spend on my hobbies. And that time is worth at least twice as much as my working time.

How to Calculate Your Hourly Worth

Now, let's talk about you. Let's talk about how to calculate what your time is worth.

Here's the formula I use: Take the amount of money you earn per year. Then divide that by 50 weeks and then by 40 hours.

For example, my friend Walt has a growing real estate business. To convince him that he shouldn't be doing so much of the grunt work himself, I helped him apply my formula to his situation.

Walt makes about $150,000 a year. $150,000 divided by 50 weeks equals $3,000 (his weekly income). $3,000 divided by 40 hours comes to $75.

"That's how much your work time is worth," I told him. "So never do anything yourself that you can have done for less than $75 a hour."

Now you do it. Divide your yearly income by 50 weeks. Then divide that by 40 hours.

If the number you come up with is less than $50, it tells me you are not practicing a financially valuable skill - one that contributes to your company's bottom line. That means being involved in product creation, marketing, sales, or profit management. If that's the case, go back and reread past messages on how to get yourself into one of those jobs... because that's where the big salaries are.

At the same time, make yourself as valuable as you can be at your present job. And start focusing on the really important work that will propel your career - and your income - forward.

Before long, your hourly rate will be double or even triple what it is today.

And your personal time will always be worth even more.

It might be three times as valuable as the time you spend at work... five times as valuable... or 10 times as valuable. Only you will know just how much it's worth to you. But at the very least, your personal time should be worth double what your work time is.

Once you know what that number is, you can make sure that every personal task you engage in is "worth" that amount of money to you.

Let's say, for example, that, by applying my formula, you have calculated your work time to be worth $25 per hour. And you figure your personal time is worth twice that: $50 per hour. Let's also say that you spend three hours every weekend in the summer doing yard work (mowing the lawn, trimming hedges, fertilizing, and so on). Ask yourself if you think it's worth $150 ($50 times 3 hours of your personal time). If you feel it is, keep doing it. If it's not, hire someone else to do it - which you can certainly do for a lot less than $150 a week - and free up your time for activities you really enjoy.

Same goes for any household job that you can hire out - cleaning, painting, washing the car.

We all have the same number of hours in the day. How much you get paid for the hours you work - and how much pleasure you get from the hours you don't - are both up to you.

[winston]

A Thorn With Every Rose by Alexander Green

This week I'm attending a meeting at the Grove Park Inn, a historic hotel on the western slope of Sunset Mountain near Asheville, NC.

Passing the enormous stone hearth in the lobby this morning, I noticed an engraving on one of the stones. It was a quatrain by Frank L. Stanton, a columnist for The Atlanta Constitution in the 1890s:

This old world we're livin' in
Is mighty hard to beat
We get a thorn with every rose
But ain't the roses sweet

This was once the most quoted poem in the country. But the mood has changed.

According to a recent CBS News/New York Times poll, Americans' views on the general state of the country have hit an all-time low, with 81% saying the prospects for the United States are declining – the worst-ever number for this barometer.

Some will argue this just reflects the current economic slowdown or the monumental unpopularity of President Bush. But pollsters report that, for decades now, large percentages have said the country is going downhill, life is getting tougher, our children face a declining future, and the world, in general, is going to hell in a hand basket.

Clearly, we do have serious problems. There is the threat of nuclear proliferation, the specter of terrorism, and the unpleasant fact that our troops are bogged down in Iraq and Afghanistan.

From an economic perspective, the federal deficit keeps growing, home prices are falling, the currency is weak, food and fuel prices have jumped, credit is tight, and the stock market recently entered bear market territory.

No wonder Americans are in a foul mood. Especially if this perspective – one that is repeated endlessly by the national media – accurately represents the big picture.

But it doesn't.

The media delivers the world through a highly distorted lens. It doesn't report buildings that don't burn, planes that don't crash, or companies that are hiring instead of laying off.

You wouldn't know it by listening to the pundits, but our general lot is getting better, not worse.

As Greg Easterbrook of the Brookings Institution recently wrote in The Wall Street Journal, "Living standards are the highest they have ever been, including the living standards for the middle class and the poor. All forms of pollution other than greenhouse gases are in decline; cancer, heart disease and stroke incidence are declining; crime is in a long-term cycle of significant decline, and education levels are at all-time highs."

Despite the gloomy headlines, most of us have it pretty darn good.

Consider that in the first half of the 20th century, most people earned a subsistence living through long hours of backbreaking work on farms or in factories.

In 1850, the average workweek was 64 hours. In 1900, it was 53. Today it is 42 hours. On the whole, Americans work less, have more purchasing power, enjoy goods and services in almost unlimited supply, and have much more leisure.

In the first half of our nation's history, most Americans lived and died within a few miles of where they were born. Nothing traveled faster than a horse and, as far as they knew, nothing ever would. Today we have instantaneous global communication, 24-hour broadband Internet access, and same-day travel to distant cities.

Formal discrimination against women and minorities has ended. There is mass home ownership, with central heat and air-conditioning – and endless labor saving devices: stoves, ovens, refrigerators, dishwashers, microwaves and computers.

Medicine was almost non-existent 80 years ago. In 1927, for example, President Calvin Coolidge's 16year-old son Calvin Jr. developed a blister playing tennis without socks at the White House. It became infected. Five days later, he died. Before the advent of antibiotics, tragedies like these were routine.

Advances in medicine and technology have eliminated most of history's plagues. There has been a stunning reduction in infectious diseases.

We complain about the rising cost of health care. But that's only because we routinely live long enough to depend on it. The average American lifespan has almost doubled over the past century.

In short, we enjoy economic and political freedoms denied to billions throughout history. We live long lives, in good health and in comfortable circumstances. By almost any measure, we are living better than 99.9% of those who have inhabited this planet.

Yet we routinely tell pollsters that life is hard and things are getting steadily worse.

I think it's time to take the larger view. If we don't, we risk becoming the mopey character Steve Martin portrays when he mumbles, "The only joy I know is a dishwashing liquid."

As Easterbrooke writes in "The Progress Paradox":

"Perhaps Western society has lost its way, producing material goods in impressive superfluity but also generating so much stress and pressure that people cannot enjoy what they attain. Perhaps men and women must reexamine their priorities – demanding less, caring more about each other, appreciating what they have rather than grousing about what they do not have, giving more than lip service to the wisdom that money cannot buy happiness."

How do we do this? We can re-order our lives so that they are less hectic, less stressful.

We all have problems. But as author Robert Ringer used to say, whatever your troubles, the odds are small that anyone is going to throw you up against the wall and pull out a machine gun. We can start improving the quality of our lives simply by changing our perspective.

And we can accept that if something is missing in our lives, it is probably a sense of gratitude, not material possessions.

It's worth taking a moment to appreciate your incredible good fortune just to be alive.

As Oxford biologist Richard Dawkins writes in "Unweaving the Rainbow":

"We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Sahara. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively outnumbers the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here."

True, it's not a perfect world, but it's the only one we've got. And we're only here once.

But, as my Dad used to say, "If you work it right, once is enough."