Family & Parenthood 02 (Jan 10 - Aug 10)

[iam802]

Another reason Y I will never ever allow PS or Wii or Xbox in my house.

Aiya...MM,

Don't mind I say this (since the likelihood of your kid reading this is very low and I think you won't take offence).

I think...you are just looking for reasons to support your case of not buying the boxes or games.

Bcos, I also use this technique before.

As K said, everything is about moderation. Or as in taiji...must be balance lar.

[millionairemind]

haha...

Point taken...

[millionairemind]

Feb 1, 2010
Kids steal to feed gaming
MORE children are stealing credit cards and cash from their parents to secretly purchase virtual items for computer games.

These items are typically weapons that help a player advance in a game, or limited-edition virtual collectibles.

At Touch Cyber Wellness & Sports, a cyber-wellness education programme for youths run by voluntary welfare group Touch Community Services, counsellors have seen 14 per cent of the 191 gamers they have counselled from 2006 to last year exhibit stealing behaviour, said its manager, Mr Poh Yeang Cherng.

Mr Nicholas Gabriel Lim, executive director of psychological-services provider iGROW, said that in the last five years, seven in 10 youths whom he had counselled steal money to buy items such as MP3 players and mobile phones. In the past year, he has seen a shift towards stealing for gaming - from hardly any cases, to two out of 10.

Mr Poh added that a reason for the problem is that game developers are exploring different ways to maximise revenue from games. Developers used to make money just from the sale of games. Today, however, they also earn revenue from the trading of virtual items, he said.

'In recent years, we observed that payment for games' features has become easily accessible to children and youths,' he said, citing payment methods such as value cards from convenience stores, SAM machines, SMS-payments and ez-link cards. The accessibility of payment methods encourages children and youths to use them, which can cause more theft cases, he said. -- MYPAPER

[millionairemind]

I finished a book called The NEW! Six Pt. Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children. This book really sets me thinking about parenting and what exactly is the role of a parent.

I always pay attention to other families when I go out with my own family or when I am with my extended family how the other parents interact with the children and how they discipline (or not discipline) their children and subsequently how the child turns out.

I have seen spoilt kids, ungrateful kids, whining kids, bickering children etc...

Children who become a zombie once they have a PSP on hand. Children who cannot pick up after themselves and need their maids to go thro' their backpacks for their dirty school clothes cos' they cannot even do that themselves.

I think something is really wrong with how our current society brings up our kids as a whole. Children are becoming disrespectful to their parents. They have to be pushed so hard just to achieve so little.

I am thinking that we have failed as parents if we do not allow our kids to grow up, to find their place, to be responsible for themselves and to make their own mistakes. We over schedule them with extra activities in the hope of keeping up with the LIMs next door.

Y must a parent always be after the children's homework? Y can't the children learn to be responsible for their own homework?

I believe in good old fashion parenting. I believe that children should be given responsibilities in the house that commensurate with their age. If they can help fold the clothes, they should. If they can help vacuum the floor, they should. If they can help set the table, they should.

If they are wrong, they should be punished or a privilege taken away.

Watching TV is a privilege, NOT a right. If they can't do their homework by themselves, there will be NO TV for them. If they can't keep up their grades, there will be NO gaming.

I have seen my sister struggle with her 17yr old Sec 5 boy, just to get him to study. The father runs his own business and drives a benz (Towkay ). He gives his boy every material things a boy could want, except parental discipline, cos' he is always at work.

My recommendation, THROW AWAY THE DAMN XBOX AND PS3!!! The problem is both the parents are not steely enough to do that.

I have promised my son that if I get a phone call from the teacher complaining about his behavior in Primary school, he will get it from me when he gets home.

There was once an incident when he was in K1, the teacher complained that he misbehaved in class, when I brought him home, I caned him till the cane broke in half. I made him write an apology letter to his teachers. The reason Y I am so harsh is because when he disrupts the class, he robs other children of a chance to learn.

I never have to do that with my boy after that. He knows I mean business. It hurts me when I do that. I love the boy dearly but I feel that parental love must come with discipline. We are there to guide them, not be their best friends. It still brings tears to my eye when half an hour after I caned him and the Mrs. had explained to him Y this is so, he walked up to me and apologized and asked me a question which I will never forget "Even though you caned me daddy, you still love me right?"

My main hope is for my boy to be able to grow up independent of us, to be a fully functional adult when he turns 18 that he will not need to get an allowance from us, just like when I stopped getting an allowance from my parents after I turned 18.

If I can achieve that, then I would have succeeded at parenting

Sorry for the ranting this morning....

[iam802]

I think you can throw away the cane soon...

I have not used mine for about 2 years

[Musicwhiz]

NOw it sounds even tougher! Even knowing all this about discipline and independence, instilling it is another matter altogether. I am not sure if I can really live up to being a "good parent". Wah, stressful man!

[millionairemind]

802 - Wah, you haven't been using the cane for 2 yrs... your girl must be very well behaved Hope that I can throw mine away soon.

MW - For me penning my tots is just to recognize the pitfalls of parenting. Its never easy, but its worth it

[Aspellian]

Hi MM,

thanks for your sharing. I can imagine the pain and heartache you went through when your boy ask you that question.

I am sure your kid will appreciate the pain you go through for his sake when he grows up and is a father one day.

[winston]

Parents can't choose the mates of their children or the behavior of their children.

You actually can't choose anything for your children without disempowering them.

--- Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Syracuse, NY on Thursday, October 17th, 1996 #347


Source: abraham-hicks.com

[millionairemind]

At an extended family gathering over Chinese New Year, I learnt from an aunt that his grown up son who is doing well in his career as insurance agent never brings any money home, even though he is still staying with the family.

My aunt is a factory production worker and makes just enough money to keep the family afloat. Her husband has been out of work for 4 yrs now due to an injury, though previously he was an odd job worker.

My aunt laments to me that my cousin drives a car and yet does not contribute financially to the family.

This is not the first time I have heard of such stories from elderly people. Sigh... its probably a sign of the times. Everyman for himself while the responsibilities to take care of one's parents is cast aside in pursuit of materialism