Life 01 (May 08 - Oct 08)

[millionairemind]

THOUGHT for YOUR WEEK:
The Art of Happiness
By Author Unknown

The ingredients of happiness are so simple that they can be counted on one hand. Happiness comes from within, and rests most securely on simple goodness and clear conscience. Selfishness is its enemy; to make another happy is to be happy ones' self. It is quiet, seldom found for long in crowds, most easily won in moments of solitude and reflection. It cannot be bough; indeed money has very little to do with it.

No one is happy unless he is reasonably well satisfied with himself, so that the quest for tranquility must of necessity begin with self-examination. We shall not often be content with what we discover in this scrutiny. There is so much to do, and so little done. Upon this searching self-analysis, however, depends the discovery of those qualities that make each man unique and whose development alone can bring satisfaction.

Of all those who have tried, down the ages, to outline a program for happiness, few have succeeded so well as William Henry Channing, who wrote the following:

"To live content with small means;
to see elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion;
to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich;
to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly;
to listen to the stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart;
to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never;
in a word to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious grow up through the common."

It will be noted that no one can do this for you; you must do it for yourself.

[winston]

Living Rich: Escaping the Internet
By Suzanne Richardson

How many hours a day do you spend on the Internet? Me, I'm always connected - mainly because I work remotely. And, according to a Nielsen Online report, the average American was online 54 hours during the month of May.

It may come as no surprise that all this Internet interaction - combined with information overload and instant gratification - might not be so good for you. For one thing, it could be interfering with the way your mind works - and keeping you from enjoying some of life's greatest pleasures.

Nicholas Carr addressed a new Internet "side effect" in July's issue of The Atlantic. Here's an excerpt from his article:

"I'm not thinking the way I used to think. I can feel it most strongly when I'm reading. Immersing myself in a book or a lengthy article used to be easy. My mind would get caught up in the narrative or the turns of the argument, and I'd spend hours strolling through long stretches of prose. That's rarely the case anymore.

Now my concentration often starts to drift after two or three pages. I get fidgety, lose the thread, begin looking for something else to do. I feel as if I'm always dragging my wayward brain back to the text. The deep reading that used to come naturally has become a struggle. ... What the Net seems to be doing is chipping away my capacity for concentration and contemplation. My mind now expects to take in information the way the Net distributes it: in a swiftly moving stream of particles."

I can empathize. It's easy to shuttle between 12 different browser windows ... easier still to scan a blog entry or an article for the "gist" before moving on ... or to cope with information overload by dealing with it in tiny slices.

If that's how you do most of your reading these days, it seems reasonable that your brain would "reset" itself to functioning that way. And that doesn't bode well for your ability to process longer chunks of information - nor for your sanity.

Here's a solution: Give yourself a daily "Living Rich" break from the Internet. Get lost in a novel. Close your eyes and listen to classic jazz. Enjoy a wine tasting with a few friends. Attend a concert in the park. Plan a trip to a new city or country.

If MaryEllen Tribby - CEO of a multimillion-dollar company - can leave her laptop at home for a week while she's on vacation, you can shut down your computer for a few hours a day.

[sidney]

I have also been struggling with the following:-
1) How do you measure success ? In $$ or freedom to do what one wants ?
2) What is the purpose of life ?

With regards to number 2, Deepak Chopra has the following advice:-
1) Make a list of your unique talents
2) Then list all the things you like to do, while expressing your unique talents
3) When you are expressing your unique talents and using them in the service of humanity, you will lose track of time and create abundance in your life as well as others

In addition, I have also been oscillating between a "Spiritual Life" and a "Material Life".

I think i can answer q1. First is to be happy. That can expands to peace of mind, no financial worries, good health for myself and family, koe many friends (but am contented with a few close friends). I am not career minded and prefer sleeping than working (meaning lazy). I accept that might translate in lower income cos i believe there isn't something for nothing in this world, thus this might contridate by saying i want "no financial worries" cos obviously the law of nature simply doesn't reward a bum.

I surmise my lack of career ambition is bcos i haven found a niche, interest or if that's my destiny, called "purpose".

Q2: As for unique talents.. hmm.. can't find it yet. Maybe the ablility to produce 20% annual growth in my portoflios. I'm referring to my waistline:) cos M size can't fit in anymore this year!

For spiritual, i took different religions as a philosophy way of life, there are many good things to learn from many religions. Unfortunately, should i put it as "the flesh is weak?" the lazy nature of mine did not propel me to do things i considered spiritually meaningful. I think day to day distractions can also be a factor.

[LenaHuat]

Read this fascinating article abt our chap at Google :

http://www.zaobao.com/special/face2face/pages1/face2face080803.shtml

谷歌首名新加坡雇员陈一鸣　名人访谷歌都要同他合照

在外国生活如鱼得水　在新加坡感觉到拘束

两名新加坡人　参与研制Gmail

新加坡应如何留住人才？

谷歌总部的“鸣”人墙

[millionairemind]

One of my former classmates also works for Google but he has since given up his SG citizenship. I know he was on a gahmen scholarship studying in Stanford and I heard he got one of the startups to buy him out in 98/99 when his studies was up and due to return to Singapore. That startup failed during the dot.com bubble burst and he joined google as the 1st 200 engineers.

The last time I checked, he is now retired on Google options...

I am happy for him... cos' he is a smart guy.

Huat ar.

[LenaHuat]

Wow, very lucky guy
But he can't be sunning himself (to death? ) in the Californian heat.
Hopefully, he is actively contributing to some social purposes (even a stay-at-home dad does).

[millionairemind]

All The Little Things
By Author Unknown

Oh, it's just the little homely things
The unobtrusive friendly things,
The "won't you let me help you" things
That make our pathway light;

The "laugh with me, it's funny" things,
And it's just the jolly joking things,
The "never mind the trouble" things,
That make the world seem bright.

For all the countless famous things,
The wondrous record breaking things,
Those "never-can-be-equaled" things
That all the papers cite,

Are not the little human things
The "everyday-encountered" things
The" just because I like you" things
That make us happy quite.

So here's to all the little things,
The "done and then forgotten" things,
those "Oh, it's simply nothing" things,
that make life worth the fight.

[winston]

The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Alexander Green

We all have troubles. In many ways, they define our lives.

But, according to philosopher Abraham Kaplan, we can deal with them more effectively if we recognize them as either problems or predicaments.

The difference? Problems, says Kaplan, can be solved. Predicaments can only be coped with.

If you work in downtown Baltimore, for example, you may be worried about crime. This is a predicament, not a problem. You can install a security system in your car, avoid the worst areas after dark, or arrange a transfer to a different office. But these are coping mechanisms. You are not going to "fix" crime in Baltimore.

A more serious predicament we all face is the occasional death of a loved one.

We can spend time grieving with family and friends, join a support group, or take up new activities to keep our minds from becoming preoccupied. But death itself cannot be bargained with.

Fortunately, most of our troubles are not predicaments, but problems.

You may worry, for instance, that you haven't saved enough for a comfortable retirement. If so, you have plenty of company.

According to the 2007 Retirement Confidence Survey by the Employee Benefit Research Institute (EBRI), 36% of workers have less than $10,000 in retirement savings. Another 13% have less than $25,000.

Clearly, this is a problem, but one with a straightforward solution. You can make more. You can spend less. Or you can earn a higher return on your investments. (Doing all three isn't bad either.)

Or, you may be one of the millions of Americans who struggles with obesity. If so, it is probably having a detrimental effect on your health, your self-image, and your quality of life.

For some of us, this is both a problem and a predicament. After all, genetics determine your basic body type. As you learned in fifth-grade health, you were born an ecotomorph, a mesomorph, or an endomorph. You cannot change this.

But anyone can eat better, exercise more or both. Not easy, but there is a solution.

Why is it important to label the trials you face either problems or predicaments?

According to John C. Maxwell, author of "The Difference Maker," "When people treat a predicament as a problem, they become frustrated, angry or depressed. They waste energy. They make bad decisions. And when people treat problems as predicaments, they often settle, give up, or see themselves as victims."

Understand this and you've taken the first step toward dealing with your predicaments and solving your problems.

Nielsen Media Research tells us that Americans love reality shows where contestants are put in high-pressure situations and challenged to "win" using every bit of intelligence, cunning and resourcefulness they can muster.

Why not view your own problems the same way? If you have a boring job, an inattentive spouse, or a looming financial setback, why not use all your smarts, imagination and creativity to turn the tables?

My guess is that if you were in front of a national television audience - and in danger of being voted off the show - you'd come up with something pretty good, something that would surprise the people around you.

In fact, this is exactly what you should be doing, according to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience." He argues that the quickest way to increase your life satisfaction is to quit seeing your problems as difficulties and start viewing them as an enjoyable challenge.

(He isn't the first to articulate this notion, incidentally. For centuries, Buddhists have embraced difficult people and situations as opportunities for spiritual development. Without them, what chance do you have to practice compassion, tolerance, or forgiveness?)

Facing your problems this way requires just two things: a bit of imagination and a positive attitude. The payoff, in turn, can be huge.

Whether you want to start your own business, lose 30 pounds, or get out of debt, you can begin by relishing the challenge.

You might surprise yourself, too. Not only by achieving your goals, but by seeing how much satisfaction you get just moving toward them in a disciplined way.

Think of it as your own reality show. (One that, ironically, actually deals with reality.) The obstacles in front of you give you the opportunity to show the world - and yourself - what you're made of.

Just remember that your predicaments require interpretive thinking and must be endured. Your problems require analytic thinking - and cannot withstand the sustained assault of creative thinking and positive action.

So why not attack yours today with a fresh mindset and a new attitude?

You have nothing to lose but your troubles.

[winston]

Embrace Uncertainty by Bob Tschannen-Moran

Last weekend my wife and I were driving back from our week at the Chautauqua Institution when we and many others had a near miss on the highway. If filmmakers had been around, the scene would surely have been straight out of an action-packed thriller -- only this time it was our lives that were at stake.

My wife was driving when we encountered an unexpected cloud burst. One minute it was clear, then there was a torrential downpour, and then it cleared up again. During the rain, however, a car in the passing lane, one car up from us, start to hydroplane and spin around on the road -- all at 70 miles or 112 kilometers an hour. Multiple cars were in both lanes, both in front and behind the hydroplaning vehicle.

While spinning completely around, 360 degrees, the car moved from the passing lane to the travel lane. Spinning around another 180 degrees, the car ended up safely in a perfectly placed ditch. Through all the commotion, not a single other car came in contact with the whirling dervish (although there was goodly amount of swerving and breaking). It was hair raising, but everyone came out OK.

That's how life works. From one minute to the next, everything can spin around, out of control, 360 degrees. We've all been there. Everything can change in an instant, in the twinkling of an eye. We're never more than an episode or a phone call away from a disaster.

The question is not how to prevent such things from happening. We can't. The question is how to take the vicissitudes of life in stride, embracing uncertainty, rather than panicking, overreacting, or losing all hope of finding our way. It can change us, but it cannot change the flow of life itself.

Author Alison Smith writes about how she lost her Catholic faith, when she was 15 years old, the day after her brother died in a car accident. Roy was not as lucky as our incredibly choreographed spinout. When that wave came crashing down, it took with it Alison's faith. More than 15 years later, however, Alison found something she could finally embrace: uncertainty. Here's the story in her own words:

After hearing that the mother superior of a cloistered Carmelite convent struggles with doubt every day, I went back and reread "a number of books about the lives of saints. Nearly everyone had gone through a period of struggle -- a 'dark night of the soul.' They all doubted. All around me, the great believers had been wrestling with their demons, this great uncertainty, and I had not seen it."

"I started to take a closer look at my doubt, which had been with me every day since Roy's death. Perhaps doubt, I thought, wasn't just a way station between beliefs. Perhaps doubt was the destination. Doubt, I realized, had given me many gifts. Doubt may not be as comfortable as faith, but it is a great agitator. It breaks things open. It pushes you into the world. It makes you ask why."

"This is how I have come to see things now: For the first 15 years of my life, I was blessed with faith; since then I've been blessed with doubt. It was doubt that made me realize that sometimes when I think something is ending, it's actually just beginning. Like the day in the bathroom when Christ walked away. That wasn't the end of the story. That's when things got interesting." (Real Simple magazine, February 2008).

Perhaps that relates to some of the comments Barack Obama made in the profile on his faith that appeared recently in Newsweek magazine. He has clearly cobbled together his own version of Christianity based on a wide variety of influences and experiences. "I'm on my own faith journey and I'm searching," he told the reporter. "I leave open the possibility that I'm entirely wrong."

That may seem like an odd position for someone to take, let alone someone running for the highest political office in a country that is at least nominally Christian. Shouldn't he keep such doubts and uncertainties to himself? The USA has certainly had its fill of both religious and political leaders who presented themselves as being certain that they were entirely right.

Of the two, I prefer those who embrace uncertainty. Whether it be in the course of world events, natural or human, or in the sacred canopies under which we gather, I prefer those who have the honesty to admit that everything is not determined, controlled, or understood.

The question, then, is how to live in that space of uncertainty without fear, anger, sadness, cynicism, or retaliation. The answer, in my experience, is to stay attentive to what's happening in the present moment without getting attached to an outcome. My greatest mistakes in life and work have all derived from my getting attached to an outcome. I was so certain as to what I wanted and what I believed that other people had to be pressed into the service of my vision, willingly or unwillingly.

Most of the time, when I was the one attached to an outcome, others came along unwillingly and the consequences were therefore unhappy, both for them and for me. It became an expression of my ego rather than an authentic stirring of life itself.

The antidote to all such attachment and ego is mindfulness: paying attention to what's alive in the present moment without judgment or assumption. Step back, take a deep breath (or two or three), and notice what's happening. Smile. Pay special attention to the feelings and needs of those involved. Don't make decisions until everyone has been heard and understood. Once a strong, empathic connection has been established, dialogue and develop win-win strategies based upon willingness rather than certainty.

No one ever knows for sure whether a course of action is the right course of action. But once everyone feels heard and understood, new possibilities emerge that people are often willing to try. Then, stay a attentive to the unfolding as it comes to pass. By staying connected to what's alive in us and in others we increase our chances of success and happiness.

To do this, however, takes coaching and practice. It's no simple matter to set aside attachment and ego. I have found Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg to be an excellent resource. So, too, with the recent Oprah book phenomenon, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I encourage you to explore them both and to find other ways to embrace uncertainty along the trek of life. That, as Alison Smith writes, is when things get interesting.

[millionairemind]

THOUGHT for YOUR Week
Success and Giving
By Catherine Pulsifer

What is success?

To some it is money; to others it is position; yet to others, it is power.

In developing your own definition of success, think of others and how you can help them.

If success means money to you, then donate money to a worthwhile charity.
If success means a position of status, then share your knowledge with others.
If success means power to you, then use that to advance worthwhile causes.

All to often, we get caught up in all the things we want, and forget to give back to the world. Our society seems to place more value on how much we have rather than how much we give. What a different world it would be if society placed more value on how much we gave!