Smile & Laugh 03 (Apr 09 - Oct 09)

[millionairemind]

Bastard

A 20-yr old pretty, sexy and sensual girl went to see a psychiatrist.

"Doctor, I'm so angry at my boyfriend that I must call him Bastard. I feel that he's gone too far, and he deserves it."

"Hmm? Such a word is strong and rude. But may be you have your own reasons. Tell me about it so that I can help you."

"Yes, thank you, Doctor. There was one night...we parked our car besides the beach and we were alone... and... he held my hand..."

“Did he hold your hand like this?"

"Yes, Doctor. Exactly like how you're holding it now"

"If it's only this, he doesn't deserve to be called Bastard. It means he doesn't want to be separated from you."

“Then, he leaned his body towards me... and hugged me..."

"Like this?"

"Yes, Doctor. Exactly like how you're doing."

"It's not a Bastard. It means he wanna stay forever by your side"

"Then he kissed me..."

"Like this?"

"Yes, Doctor. Exactly like how you're kissing me."

"If its only a kiss like this, seriously you can't call him Bastard. It means he adores you."

“Then he put his hands inside my clothes and touched my boobs,
Doc..."

"Like this?"

"Yes, Doctor... exactly like that"

"It's not behavior of a bastard. It means he wants to protect you."

"Then he took off all my clothes... slowly... "

"Did you resist?"

"No. I let him do it, coz I love him..."

"Did he take off your clothes like this?"

"Yes, Doctor. Until I'm completely naked like now......"

"He still doesn't deserve to be called "Bastard, because it means he wanna learn about your body completely."

“Then he kissed me and put his.... inside me and had sex with me..."

"Did he do it just like what we do?"

"Yes, Doctor. Exactly the same"

"You still can't call him Bastard. It means he needs you."

"But then he told me that he has AIDS"

All the staff and patients outside heard the doctor screaming, BASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRD !

[kennynah]

[kennynah]

see carefully, the right bottom of picture

[kennynah]

studies show that there is a very strong correlation between drinking coke and smoking...toddlers are not capable of deceit...

[kennynah]

whole new meaning to hindsight

[kennynah]

for the women, who know they've made it there...

[b0rderc0llie]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-B5xBlvmhXk

[Cherry]

370H-SSV-0773H


After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a note in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of Coded message:

370H-SSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice. Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to MI6 and Mossad.

Eventually they asked Pakistan Intelligence (ISI) for help. Within a minute, ISI emailed the White House with this reply:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down.."

Hidden Content:

HELLO-ASS-HOLE

[Cherry]

Hypnotism

A Woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror,stare at myself and repeat

I do not have a headache;
I do not have a headache;
I do not have a headache.


It worked! The headaches are all gone."

"Well, that is wonderful," replies the husband.

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.

He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"

The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning.

Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

With that, he goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,

Hidden Content:

She's not my wife.
She's not my wife.
She's not my wife!"

His funeral service will be held on Saturday..-- --------

[millionairemind]

hahahaha...

This joke made my day