Smile & Laugh 03 (Apr 09 - Oct 09)

[millionairemind]

MM... thanks man...

some of your jokes are really hilarious....and of good quality.... you the champ

Always welcome K DaGe..

Its always good to laugh at least once daily... helps fight the blues

[millionairemind]

Ah Beng: All Wet

Last night, an incident took place at Boat Quay. What happened was some idiot was trying to show off and declared that he would swim across the Singapore River.

He jumped in and started swimming. But before he could reach the halfway mark, he started to panic and started to shout for help.

Being typical Singaporeans, a crowd started to gather to watch and yet no attempt was made by anybody to save that poor chap.

Suddenly there was a splash and the crowd turned to see a guy doing what seemed like a desperate attempt to reach the drowning victim. It was clear that this hero couldn't swim !

Luckily a tongkang filled with tourists was passing by and the operator saw the incident and picked both men from the water. The crowd cheered !

Back on shore, the crowd cheered again as the hero stepped off the tongkang. "Steady Lah !" and "Awright, man !" were among the many congratulations shouted.

The hero looked angry and shouted "Ka ni na! Siang too wa loh chui?" (*%#@! Who pushed me into the water?")

[millionairemind]

Red Ears

Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.

The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear, lah"

"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ... what happened to the other ear ?"

Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"

Time Difference

Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.

Ah Beng: "Could you tell me the time difference between Taipei and Las Vegas?"

Operator: "Just a minute..."

Ah Beng : "Thank you lah" and puts down the phone.

Jigsaw Puzzle

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.

"It took me only 5 months to do it", Ah Beng brags.

"Five months? That's too long", the friend exclaims.

"You are a fool" Ah Beng replies, "See this on the box, it is written "For 4-7 Years".

Lucky Ah!

One day, Ah Beng & Ah Seng were walking down the Chinatown when they saw something in their path.

"Wait!" cried Ah Beng. "Wat is tat huh?"

"Yah ho! Be carefool lo," warned Ah Seng.

"Wat is it?" They approached the thing and looked at it very closely.

"Eee look like shit lah!" say Ah Beng.

"Hmmm..... smell like shit also!" say Ah Seng after taking a deep breathe.

Ah Beng then poked the thing with his one finger, raised the finger to his lips, tasted it and said,"Tastes like shit!"

Ah Seng pushed his finger right through the thing and stick out his tongue to lick. With confidence, he said,

"Confirm is shit!"

Then they smiled at each other,

"WAH! Lucky we didn't step on it."