Smile & Laugh 07 (Oct 11 - Mar 12)

[winston]

Kidnapped


Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.


Day 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

[winston]

Continue ...


Day 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep deprivation, incessant pleas for food at all hours of the night.


Day 767 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.


Day 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture.

his time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo."

What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

[winston]

Continue ...


Day 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event.

However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.


Day 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue, something akin to mole speak, and speaks with them regularly.

I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal, room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

[winston]

Tuesday's Quiz

Rearrange the letters PNESI to spell out an important part of the human body.

This part is even more important and useful when erect .....

........... the two people who wrote SPINE became doctors .... and the rest are all my friends!

[iam802]

Tuesday's Quiz

Rearrange the letters PNESI to spell out an important part of the human body.

This part is even more important and useful when erect .....

........... the two people who wrote SPINE became doctors .... and the rest are all my friends!

I am a friend.

[kennynah]

naurally, i am a friend too...but knowing that there was another word that could be formed, i think most of us could make out it is SPINE

[winston]

Poster

Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board.

On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."

[iam802]

Saw this on Facebook...

Remember Sith.... from Star Wars?

Hidden Content:

[winston]

Job Interview

A brilliant young boy was applying for a job with the railways.

The interviewer asked him: "Do you know how to use the equipment?" "Yes", the boy replied.

"Then what would you do if you realized that 2 trains, one from this station and one from the next were going to crash because they were on the same track?" The young applicant thought and replied "I'd press the button to change the points without hesitation."

"What if the button was frozen and wouldn't work?" "I'd run outside and pull the lever to change the points manually" "And if the lever was broken?" "I'd get on the phone to the next station and tell them to change the points," he replied.

"And if the phone was broken and needed an electrician to fix it?" The boy thought about that one.

"I'd run into town and get my uncle" "Is your uncle an electrician?" "No, but he's never seen a train crash before!"

[winston]

If a man is in the forest, talking to himself, with no woman around, is he still wrong?