InvestIdeas

i hope i'm not repeating this joke...

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in olden China, there was family with five sons... visitors to this household have a favourite among these 5 brothers. who do you think it is?

BFGF

Larry was startled to see the nonchalant way Jason was taking the fact that his girlfriend was seen with another man.

“You said you loved her and yet you saw her with another man and you didn’t knock the guy down?”

“I’m waiting.”

“Waiting for what?” asked Larry

“Waiting to catch her with a smaller feller.”

Hamster

A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead.

Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion.

The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head.

"There" says the vet,” Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion.

The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head.

"It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes.

"That will be £1000, please". "A £1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man.

"Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".

First Man of Finland caught gawping at Danish princess's breasts

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne ... easts.html

iam802 wrote:

i like this poignant advert poster too

autofocus...

Coloring Class

A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.

On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella.

The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Bobby, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.

After seeing this, the teacher asked him: "Bobby, how many times have you see a red duck?".

Young Bobby replied with "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."

Women are the quickest to learn the three R’s.

This is R’s, that’s R’s, everything’s R’s.

Received this email...

Dear friend,

I am Mrs.Safia Farkash Gahdafi the wife of the late Libyan Leader Colonel Muammar Gahdafi. Following the recent rebellion in my country and the brutal death of my husband on the 20 Oct 2011, I have been thrown into a state of utter confusion, frustration and hopelessness; I have been subjected to physical and psychological torture by the security agents in Algeria where we seek refuge at present.

My son was killed by the rebels for an offense he did not commit. As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with anybody within the country. You must have heard over the media reports and the internet on the recovery of various huge sums of money deposited by my husband in different security firms abroad, some companies willingly give up their secrets and disclosed our money confidently lodged there or many outright blackmail.

In fact the total sum discovered by the Government so far is in the tune of ($900). Million Dollars. And they are not relenting to make me poor for life; I got your contact email address through my research and out of desperation decided to reach you through this medium.

I will give you more information as to this regard as soon as you reply. I repose great confidence in you hence my approach to you due to security network placed on my day to day affairs I cannot afford to visit the embassy so that is why I decided to contact you and I hope you will not betray my confidence.

I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your account for safe keeping. This arrangement is known to you and my son alone. I am seriously considering relocating to your country once the fund is transferred to you. I will be wiling to offer you 30% of the total fund if only you will receive this fund and keep it for us.

Please note that honesty is the watch word in this transaction. I will require your telephone and fax numbers so that we can commence communication immediately and I will give you a more detailed picture of things.

In case you don't accept please do not let me out to the security as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence .I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith.

I appreciate your timely suggestion and interest over this matter

Best Regards
Mrs.Safia Farkash Gahdafi
Email: