Smile & Laugh 10 (May 13 - Aug 15)

[winston]

Man buys penis enlarger, gets magnifying glass instead

KUALA LUMPUR: A man who purchased a penis enlargement device online had a rude shock when he received a magnifying glass instead of the device he thought he had purchased.

http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Nation/2 ... ing-glass/

[winston]

Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink.

The president of Budweiser orders a Bud.

Miller's president orders a Millers and the president of Coors orders a Coors.

When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda.

Why didn't you order a Guinness everyone asks?

Nah Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer neither will I.

[winston]

Smart man + Smart Woman = Romance

Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy

Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair

Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage

[winston]

A doctor broke the bad news to a man, that his wife would have to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

“I’m afraid her mind’s completely gone,” he said.

“Makes sense,” mumbled the man. “She’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 15 years.”

[winston]

Almonds

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.

After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds. She repeats this gesture about eight times.

At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they don't eat the almonds themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them. "Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady Answers, "We just love the chocolate around them."

[behappyalways]

娘子军舞蹈用腿开枪姿势网络爆红 大家都模仿(组图)
http://www.wenxuecity.com/news/2014/06/13/3352983.html

[behappyalways]

生活中的意外之“喜”
http://events.xiyou.cntv.cn/xcp/index.s ... 4baaa.html

[behappyalways]

“晒光阴”走红美国朋友圈 这些照片太有“笑果”(组图)
http://www.wenxuecity.com/news/2014/07/11/3423045.html

[behappyalways]

A father was telling his daughter who is going out on her first date.....if he wants to touch you, tell him Don't. and if he wants to kiss you, tell him to Stop. After the daughter came back from the date, she relates to his father.....he was trying to touch me and kiss me.....and I said Don't stop, don't stop......

[behappyalways]

'I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink and be Mary.'
George Carlin (1937-2008)


'When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.'
Bob Monkhouse (1928-2003)



Tony Hancock - 100 funny jokes by 100 comedians
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/cult ... jokes.html