Smile & Laugh 10 (May 13 - Aug 15)

[winston]

A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately.

He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife.

The psychic went into a trance. A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.

"Honey!" he cried. "Is that you?". "Yes, my husband." "Are you happy?". "Yes, my husband."

"Happier than you were with me?". "Yes, my husband.".

"Then Heaven must be an amazing place!"

"I'm not in Heaven, dear."

[winston]

A doctor calls his patient and says; the check you gave me for my bill came back.

The patient replied: So did my arthritis!

[winston]

Life After Death

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, sir," the clerk replied.

"That's good," the boss said.

"After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."

[winston]

Q: What does every woman call an intelligent, attractive, caring, loving and sensitive man?

A: A dream

[winston]

A man is incomplete until he is married… then he is finished.

[winston]

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet paper roll?

A: No one knows, it's never been done.

[winston]

Q. What’s the difference between a man and a government bond?

A. Bonds mature.

[winston]

Men who are bald at front of their heads are good thinkers.

Men who are bald at the back of their heads are good lovers.

Men who are bald at front and back think they are good lovers.

[winston]

Boss: You should have been here at 9.30 a.m.

Employee: Why what happened?

[winston]

Now that we are into renaming things like Mount Diablo, President Obama wants to rename the San Andreas Fault. His suggestion, Bush's Fault.